Why I Give a Damn about Marriage Equality

I’ve been living with my partner Chris for almost 11 years. We had a handfasting ritual in 1999 which we count as our marriage ceremony. But we can’t get the same rights as married couples because as lesbians, we’re ruining the sanctity of marriage. Given the 50 percent ratio of heterosexual couples divorcing, I don’t know how we could make it any worse. Here are some of the things that are taken for granted by married heterosexual couples that gay partners do not have:

If Chris were to be seriously ill in the hospital, I may be banned from visiting her because I’m not “related” to her.

We have to pay lawyers fees for documents stating our intent for last wishes, living wills, etc. and get them registered in the court house because even having said documents still may not guarantee those wishes carried out because we’re not “married.”

We can’t adopt in our home state because we’re not a “man and a woman.”

Every time I fill out any official form, I have to put down “single,” even though I’m not.

Unless we work for a huge corporation who has domestic partner benefits, we can’t cover each other with health insurance.

I could go on and on. My straight friends try to understand but a lot of them don’t realize the hoops we must jump through to take care of each other legally. If two people love each other and want to commit to each other in a binding agreement, why does it matter if we’re gay?

The only choice I ever made about being a lesbian was to not live a lie anymore.