Way of Life

I have had to hide who I am for a long time. From my family, friends, and now everyone I work with. There are even people in the gay community who look at me funny when they do know. I’m a 21 year old bisexual guy who at one point in my life would hate myself from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed. When I came out to my parents they didn’t think much of it. I was in high school and they just thought it was a thing that would pass. After that one try to tell them who I was it became something we never talked about. My dad and step-mom looked at it the same way.

It wasn’t until I was 21 that I tried again. This time I was on the other side of the world with an amazing boyfriend back home. I couldn’t go home on leave and lie to them, so I came out. First to my older sister. She took it great. Then to my father and step-mom. That didn’t go so good. They have come up with so many ways to right it off. Everything from it isn’t possible because I still like girls to being brainwashed when I was younger.

I can’t understand how they would rather think of me as brainwashed and sick instead of really dealing with it. Now it has once again become that one thing they wont talk about. If I hint at the topic or even try to outright bring it up they all of a sudden have to go to the store or go to work.

And at work it’s even harder. There are always those jokes. The kind that make me want to ether walk out of the room or scream my head off at them. And now with DADT on the way out the door the jokes are picking up. And in other work places it’s even worse. Because people know that DADT is almost over they have picked up speed and are outright looking for GLBT people so they can point it out to the command or do something about it themselves. I hear about these things a lot from friends online and the few people who know about my orientation.

But there is a good side to this. Like when I came out to my mother. I was never on good terms with her after I moved to my father’s when I was younger. For years, and all through high school, we never really talked. But after I came out and knew she was okay with who I am things changed. Things still need work, but if it wasn’t for that one thing I may have never given her a chance. There is even talk of me and my boyfriend going to visit her and my step-dad.

When I look back and wonder about what pushed me to come out, what made me stop trying to hide, I think about this one really bad day at work. I was stuck working 18 hours for the 4th day in a row. Everyone was telling jokes that made me sick. The repeal for DADT was still going on and everyone had something to say about it. I couldn’t even think about saying that I wanted DADT gone. And then after everyone left and it was almost time for me to leave there was a commercial that came on. Whoopi Goldberg saying she gave a damn. It wasn’t the one thing that made me come out, but it was one of the few things that made that week go a lot better. Since then I have told all my friends about this site. I hope it can help other people have a better day.

Things NEED to be better. For a long time I never thought it was possible to be open in the Navy. But I also thought it wasn’t possible to be talking to my mother 3 times a week about boyfriend trouble.

My name is Christopher and I give a damn.