Someone Who I Trusted
On Christmas Morning of ‘09, I was visiting my family for a nice Christmas Dinner, I was getting ready for a wonderful lunch fulled with Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Veggies and so on. The only thing I truly cared about on this day is my family. My father, my mother, my brother, my sis-in law, my baby nephew (Sebastien) and myself. My father was gone exchanging a gift for my baby nephew, so he was absent while the incident happened…
I was in my bedroom getting ready for this big afternoon with the family. My brother came into my room and wanted to talk to me and so I said “Ok!” I was confused as to why he wanted to talk to me and then he said “I’m not comfortable with you being around Sebastien. I don’t want you to be around him anymore.” I looked at my brother and I just walked away in disbelief, obviously insulted and in shock of what he was saying. Then I yelled, “your not going to accuse me of something that I didn’t do” and he said, “I’m not accusing you of anything, I’m just not comfortable with you being around him.”
I looked at him and said, “why is that?” My mother was cooking food and was wondering what was going on. My sis-in-law was minding her own business because she knew how angry my brother can become. Then this explosion of hatred of me being gay came from my brother (I guess he was holding on to his feelings for way too long until he finally revealed his feelings towards me, I mean he knew I was gay for 2 yrs now). He was insulting and humiliating me in front of my family and my poor mother was trying to be the peace keeper in this situation. My brother yelled at her, “this is none of your business” with his hands up as if he was going to slap her in her face.
I pulled my mom towards me and I screamed at my brother “DON’T YOU TALK TO MOM LIKE THAT.” He looked at me and then said “What are you going to do,” while he pushed me with a powerful force and I almost hit my head on the kitchen counter top. I walked away to my bedroom so my brother could calm down a bit because he was and still is bigger then me. I mean he’s in the military. He knows things that scared me. He always said to me “I’m trained to Kill.” Those words haunted me on that day because I wasn’t sure what he would do to me if things got out of hand.
Then I could hear him mumbling things about me, so I came out of my room and I exploded with anger. “Yes, I’m a f**got, and will always be.” Then he got up into my face and he was yelling like those military guys do. I rolled my eyes because he was really obnoxious and he was saying that he wanted to hit me in the face. He said that I was a c****ker and then punched me in the face and my glasses flew on the ground… like he wanted to do. I was in shock… it had happen so quickly.
I didn’t even remember the pain from the incident, the only thing I do remember is that my mom was freaking out at him and my sis-in-law too. I just had to leave so, I got dressed and left the house to go see my partner. He was at his parents’ for Christmas and I’ve never been at my home since.. to this day, my parents try to force me to forgive him, but I’m not capable of doing so and I am not ready to forgive him… I mean he accused me of something that I’m not, punched me and destroy the family because his own problems… I guess time will tell.
All I can say is I DO GIVE A DAMN. OUT LOUD AND PROUD TO BE GAY!!!
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For most of us, our families provide the one place where we can be ourselves and know that we will be loved and accepted, no matter what. Our families are our support system, our source of strength, our home.