Holding On To My Faith

Apr 09th, 2013 06:35 PM By April

I am a bisexual woman. I have been in a relationship with one of the most wonderful women I have ever met, for a couple of years now. Up until my early twenties I had only been with men, which felt very natural to me, and never even really thought of being with a woman. At a certain point, I did think about it, and it didn’t feel unnatural to me. I have never struggled with my sexuality or my feelings toward either sex, it just is what it is, and I have found that I have loved people based on who they are as a person, not their gender.

I also come from a very conservative Christian home. My family has been part of our church for two generations so, needless to say, my family is a part of the fabric of the community there. I was never taught to hate anyone, but I was definitely under the impression that gay was not “okay” for me. My parents have met gay friends of mine and it was never an issue, but I was aware that they voted Yes on Prop 8, so I knew where they stood. I am thankful that they managed to successfully raise two open-minded children, despite their attitudes and the attitudes of the church.

Ironically enough, my parents are convinced that my sibling and I have been indoctrinated by modern culture, while they are the ones who tune in to a well known conservative news channel for a couple of hours every evening.

Recently, my parents “outed” me. I can’t blame them for being shocked and upset – I expected it. In fact, I expected it to be a lot worse than it was, but it was bad enough. They were filled with disapproval of my bad moral choice, read me bible verses condemning homosexuality, and while they reiterated that they love me, even now, four months later, I’m pretty sure they are still in deep denial.

My mom still likes to mention, “When you marry a nice man one day.” I am taking it day by day, but it is a very intense process, as I don’t wish to ruin my relationship with my parents, but it will have to change. To think that they would rather me live a lie and turn my back on the greatest love of my life so far, just so that it looks good to the rest of my family and our church friends, is devastating.

I know in my heart that God loves us all equally. Unfortunately, throughout history, the bible has been used inappropriately by cultures and a lot of churches to rationalize and mask their own hateful agendas. I am thankful that I have not turned by back on my faith, because it is one of the things in my life that is helping me to deal with my life at the moment, having just “come out” to my parents and some friends.

I have prayed for years for clarity and guidance regarding my sexuality and my faith and the position I am in with my family and church community, being a bisexual woman. What happened? I was finally put in a situation by my parents where I had the chance to stop lying about my relationship, and I took that opportunity.

Since coming out, I have met several wonderful Christians who have a deep, deep faith, and who truly strive to live by Jesus’ example that Love is the greatest thing of all, and I have found a church that is all-inclusive and is still rooted in the teachings of Jesus. I would encourage people to not give up on their faith, for the bible reads, “Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

There are all-inclusive faith communities out there if you look for them! My hope is that one day my parents, family and friends can celebrate me for who I am fully, otherwise, they’re going to miss out on a wonderful part of their lives.

“Thou Shalt Not Judge”

Feb 12th, 2013 06:49 PM By Deven

I am 17 years old and have been raised in a very religious household. I was always reminded of the time when Jesus taught, “Thou shalt not judge.”

When I finally came to terms with myself and who I am, I got up the strength to tell those around me.

No one accepted me.

It was as if the scripture “Thou shalt not judge” just flew out the window. I constantly had people telling me I was going to hell, and I had to “pray the gay away”

News flash: YOU CAN’T.

I didn’t choose to be gay, this is just the way I am. I shouldn’t have to skip my Anatomy class in high school just because 3 members from the football team said they would beat me up. I shouldn’t be shunned from church. And I certainly shouldn’t have to live in fear of losing my job for expressing who I am.

I GIVE A DAMN!

My Sisters

Feb 07th, 2013 07:35 PM By Guy

I am a 54 year old male who has 4 sisters, 2 of them are gay. I love both of them and have no problem with their lifestyles. My youngest sister has found religion and tells my sister that she will go to hell and is an affront to the Lord. I belong to a faith that accepts gays.

Why, As A Person Of Faith , I Give A Damn

Feb 07th, 2013 07:06 PM By Leilani

My name is Leilani. About 9 years ago, I had an experience. I grew up in a loving supporting family. We are Christians. I remember being told that of course, homosexuality was a sin. I remember standing in a prayer circle and thinking to myself, “I wonder if any of these people around me , my friends, choir members.. are gay?”. I did wonder. And even though, at the time, I thought it was a sin, I felt like it was wrong that these people would be made to feel bad about it.

I went to college. A long way from home. It was the first time I was on my own in a sense. And through my interactions, collaborations, and being witness to various cultures of people (sexual identity included) without being around my family, I became aware that people are just people trying to love each other and that God loves all people. It was the first time that I realized the possibility that the reason why people were so “disgusted” or critical of it, was because they just hadn’t really been around any gay people, or didn’t know of any openly gay people.

After my first college year, one of my closest friends opened up to me and told me he was gay. I felt honored that he trusted me enough to tell me. He was laughing and I could tell he might cry, had I rejected him. He said, “It’s okay if you think its bad, but I just wanted you to know.” I said, “Congratulations!” I had a choice and at that time I don’t remember all the words I said but I told him I didn’t think anything was wrong with him.

I am now at the point where I don’t think being gay is a sin. I know that to some I probably am not seen as a TRUE Christian because of that. And you know what? I don’t care. And it’s because of that, that I am really happy. But I do care that other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people feel loved, without guilt for being who they are, and are free to know and have whatever spiritual relationship they desire with God.

I am searching still for the right church where I as a straight woman don’t have to worry about other straight Christians making fun of and condemning homosexuality.  I hope that if someone is reading this, that it can help to know there are Christians out here who not only love you, but don’t think that the way you were born is an affront or a sin to God. Much love always. God bless you forever.

Coming Out

Feb 07th, 2013 06:55 PM By Tara

Years ago I went to a Southern Baptist Church in Florida where I was living. I always knew I was different but I was afraid to admit what I was or to tell a female friend I liked her more than just a friend.

One day I called my best friend at the time and told her I had a major crush on her. She was so beautiful. When I told her I liked her more than just a friend, I swore she was going to freak being southern Baptist and all . Instead she understood and continued to treat me like her best friend and sister.

I came out to my mother and she is supportive. My pastor father prays for my soul and that God would make me straight. I’m happy being bisexual – it is the most natural thing in the world to me. The way I see it God created all of us gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and straight couples because he loves all of us equally. If I fall in love with a woman we should have the same human rights as straight couples to marry and raise a family. Maybe one day it wont matter what your sexual orientation is. We will all be equal.

It Really Does Get Better

Feb 07th, 2013 06:40 PM By Rich

I remember growing up in a small town in Massachusetts, described as a village once on Dateline NBC. I never really believed I was any different than anyone else, until I entered the public school system and the total chaos began. I don’t know exactly where I went wrong or what I did that was so different from all of the other kids, but I got singled out and it only continued as I grew older.

When I was 11, I was forced out of the closet. I didn’t want to be gay, I never asked for this and at the time I would never have wished this upon anyone else. I found being gay to be so troublesome that suicide seemed to be the most logical option. I remember praying to God to forgive me for taking my own life, I really thought that this was my only option to seek solace. Then, the strangest thing happened. After an unsuccessful attempt to end my life, I felt an awakening within me. I felt God in my heart and truly believed for the first time I was created in his image.

Fast forward a few years, and it did get better. Although I am skipping over chapters of hate, shame and the feeling of total isolation- I am doing so with the specific intent- the focus is, IT GETS BETTER!

Structured Faith…

Feb 07th, 2013 06:23 PM By Jade

My entire life has been about faith. My grandparents are pastors as well as my entire family. In 2012, I came out to my family about being bisexual. It was the same year my mother died. Being blamed for the death of my mom (even though it was because she was in a car accident), I was and still am disowned from my entire family.

Preaching at me, telling me I will burn in hell for the choices I’ve made… I never chose to be this way. It’s who I am as well as WHO I WILL ALWAYS BE! I am engaged to an amazing man. We want children and it’s sad that they won’t be around. But, you are who you are, nothing and no-one will ever be able to change that. You are an amazing person! Be true to who you are.

When I have children, no matter what they are, I will love them. Love knows NO limits. I love you all! FOR WHO YOU ARE.

Losing Faith

Feb 27th, 2012 03:17 PM By Allison

Let me start off by saying yes, I am a lesbian. That might help you understand this story a little better. Now to the actual story.

I was really big on my faith, then one day that all came crashing down. I was sitting in church just like any other Sunday. When all of a sudden my mom came to me crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said the preachers wife had just pulled her aside. She had told my mom that her and the preacher were going to talk to me about being a lesbian. She told my mom that if they couldn’t change me, I would have to leave the church. She also told my mom she was a bad parent for letting it happen in her house. At this time I got up and walked out. I love how the first thing I was taught at this church is to “Never judge anyone, because the Lord loves all his children.” I pretty much gave up on faith after this.

I am now 19 years old. I go to a local gay church. I love it, they actually accept me for who I am. I can say I actually thank my old preacher and his wife. Because of them I am closer to my mom than I ever was, she’s like my best friend now. I’ve also became the person I am now because of them.

A Demon?

Feb 27th, 2012 03:06 PM By Sara

So, around Christmas time, my cousin told me he was gay. I accepted him and that was that. Later in February, he had begun to tell other family members. His mother was last. He was raised by a religious fanatic that can’t tolerate any form of sin. When he finally told her, she said, “No. You cannot be like this! I will pray every night for you. We will get rid of this demon!”

It hurt him that his own mother wouldn’t accept him. Some of my other cousins think it’s disgusting. He’s in a tough place and I wanna help him any way I can.I know there’s nothing wrong with him. I just need a way to help his mom accept him like nothing is wrong. Because nothing is!

True Love Does Not Discriminate

Feb 27th, 2012 02:55 PM By Jane

My name is Jane and I have grown up around gay people all of my life. When my mother was beginning her musical career in Hollywood, one of her best friends was gay and he was the best man at her wedding. This man, his life partner, and their friends were a part of my life for over 30 years.

Although I was raised in church until I was a teenager, I don’t remember anything that was taught. When I started attending as a young adult, I believed as “other Christians” believed. It wasn’t until after I lost my mom and moved to Eugene, Oregon and met the most amazing group of gay men and women, did I learn about true compassion and love without judgment.

I am a “mama bear” to my friends. They know I am a Christian and they know they will get no judgment from me. The boys call me “mom” and I treat them like my family, because they are. I go with them when they shop for their costumes for drag shows, attend the drag shows, celebrate with them at their commitment ceremonies and have voted for same sex marriage. I am quick to correct those who would put me in the same group as Christians who disrespect anyone because of how they choose to live their life.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is that I believe that all people should be treated with respect, period. Who as we to judge anyone. It is not our job. I’m glad I saw the PSA for this website and I am glad to be a part of it.

Jane Storms
Eugene, Oregon