My Real Family

Feb 27th, 2012 03:20 PM By Brittnee

I realized that I was different when I was 13. I thought about women in sexual and emotional ways, and it felt natural to me. I didn’t know the term bisexual until I was a little older. It was exciting, putting a name to an important part of me. I kept my sexuality a secret through the rest of high school, although I was often accussed of being a lesbian. I lied about my sexuality for 6 years until I was confronted by a friend. She asked me if I was gay, and if so, she would support me. I told her the truth, and it felt so good to finally tell someone.

I decided to tell everyone else in my life. Everyone’s reactions were different. My boyfriend cried, fearful that suddenly he wouldn’t be enough for me. My best friend bought me a rainbow flag for my car. Others simply said, “I knew it. You suck at keeping secrets.” The only people I haven’t told is my family. My family believes in equality for all, but they make crass gay jokes that make me feel uncomfortable to tell them the truth.

It was then that I realized my real family wasn’t a group of people who made hurtful comments. My real family was my friends who don’t mind if I make comments on cute girls walking by and my boyfriend who helped me work through my emotions as I helped him understand that being bisexual didn’t mean I was leaving him for a girl. I’m 20 years old now and working my way through college to become a special educations teacher. Coming out was the best thing I’ve ever done.

Losing Faith

Feb 27th, 2012 03:17 PM By Allison

Let me start off by saying yes, I am a lesbian. That might help you understand this story a little better. Now to the actual story.

I was really big on my faith, then one day that all came crashing down. I was sitting in church just like any other Sunday. When all of a sudden my mom came to me crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said the preachers wife had just pulled her aside. She had told my mom that her and the preacher were going to talk to me about being a lesbian. She told my mom that if they couldn’t change me, I would have to leave the church. She also told my mom she was a bad parent for letting it happen in her house. At this time I got up and walked out. I love how the first thing I was taught at this church is to “Never judge anyone, because the Lord loves all his children.” I pretty much gave up on faith after this.

I am now 19 years old. I go to a local gay church. I love it, they actually accept me for who I am. I can say I actually thank my old preacher and his wife. Because of them I am closer to my mom than I ever was, she’s like my best friend now. I’ve also became the person I am now because of them.

A Demon?

Feb 27th, 2012 03:06 PM By Sara

So, around Christmas time, my cousin told me he was gay. I accepted him and that was that. Later in February, he had begun to tell other family members. His mother was last. He was raised by a religious fanatic that can’t tolerate any form of sin. When he finally told her, she said, “No. You cannot be like this! I will pray every night for you. We will get rid of this demon!”

It hurt him that his own mother wouldn’t accept him. Some of my other cousins think it’s disgusting. He’s in a tough place and I wanna help him any way I can.I know there’s nothing wrong with him. I just need a way to help his mom accept him like nothing is wrong. Because nothing is!

The Story I Am Sharing

Oct 11th, 2011 05:23 PM By Rob

I care about equality, but the reason I joined this site today was Ms. Lauper’s essay on Huffington Post today about homeless youth and the prevalence of LGBTQ youth in the homeless population.

I work as a case manager for a program in NYC called HASA. It’s a city agency that provides case management and financial assistance, among other things, to low income adults and children with HIV. On my caseload there are men and women from 19 to 70 who are struggling to live their lives with HIV. Some of my younger clients have spent time on the streets and there are many who left home at a young age because of discrimination and abuse directly related to their gender or their sexuality.

So I am for equality wholeheartedly. I joined today because I completely agree with Cyndi that people need to know that there are children who need a lot of help. I believe that parents of children who are dealing with issues of gender and sexuality also need help to better address the needs of their LGBTQ children.

God is Love…

Sep 19th, 2011 11:31 AM By Wendy

I grew up believing that gay men and women had a choice. That choice was to either accept that men and women were made and meant to be together and that marriage was a sacred bond between a man and a woman or they would be doomed to everlasting damnation.

I didn’t believe that men should have these “feelings of inappropriate love” towards other men and the same with women. I knew that if I could squelch my own personal crushes for boys in High School and Jr. High, that a gay man or woman could and should, do the same.

I trusted what my parents taught me was correct, because I thought true happiness started with a marriage between one man and one woman, in a sacred ceremony. I was so adamant about my stand on gay marriage that I lost touch with close friends who didn’t feel the same way I did.

I didn’t realize I had lost touch with so many friends due to my perspective on the matter. It was not until years later when I ran into an old friend from college who told me the way he felt over my rants in regards to the LGBT community. I was surprised and humbled over his admission and complete candor to my utter disregard to the way he may have felt, we were very good friends in college.
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Being Rejected by Elders

Sep 07th, 2011 12:16 PM By Monte Palmer

I’m 15 and gay living in southern New Mexico. I was seeing a psychologist for a while and after some reports to the Child, Youth, and Families Department, I was sentenced to 3 months in Treatment Foster Care to be away from my parents for some time. I was told I would be there for years before they released me. I was put into an anti-gay Christian family that would always bother me and tell me I chose to be gay. I told them that in my head it isn’t a choice and they said then somebody at Families & Youth Inc. is forcing me to be gay by what I’m saying.

I told my therapist what they said to me and he told the supervisor at Families & Youth Inc. who had a talk with my foster parents. My foster mom came home telling me she has lost a lot of feeling for me and any kids who say negative things about her. She said she will refrain from taking me out to places and she did for a long time. They made up an excuse that I seem too depressed to bother going out.

On my way out of the foster home, my foster mom gave my mom a note telling her that I was gay. I snatched it from her hand, crumbled it up, and threw it in the street before getting in the car back home. My foster parents didn’t even say bye. All I wanted was somebody to love me for who I am.

It Doesn’t Run in the Family

Sep 06th, 2011 12:09 PM By Pia

I give a damn for the people who can’t even come out to the people who, supposedly, will love them no matter what happens.

I’m sharing my story to let other people know, whoever is experiencing the same thing, that you’re not alone.

A couple of months ago I invited my partner to sleep over because we had an exam to study for, which required more than just a few hours of studying. Everything was normal until my mom and my brother came home from work and my mom suddenly called me to the other room to talk.

She immediately asked me who I was with. Out of nervousness, I told her that she was just a friend who tutors me [which is also true]. Then my mom told me how she and my brother tolerate gay people just as long as it’s not one of the family. They told me “being gay is not in our genes” and my mom said she would not tolerate me being a lesbian.

What hurts more is when she said that my “friend” could just be into me because of our financial status. She said I could be easily manipulated into falling in love because the probability of finding a lesbian partner is unlikely so my partner could just be using this feeling to her advantage–which I think is impossible because my partner is actually two years older than me, works at a well-known international company, and even pays for her own college tuition.

It hurts because this is coming from the people whom you loved first. This is coming from the people who told me to love each member of the family regardless of their attitude problems. I don’t hate them. In fact, the reason why it hurts is because I love them, and as much as I want to run away because they’ll basically hate me if I ever come out to them, I still can’t because I love my mom too much to make her worry.

And lastly, it hurts because even my family can’t see that WE are just like everybody else. We’re humans, we have feelings too. It’s just that we’re not attracted to the opposite sex. I just wish my family would realize that.

Why Us Lord? We Did the Best We Could

Sep 06th, 2011 11:48 AM By Lanna

Today, Sept. 3rd. 2011, is our 29th anniversary as a committed couple for life. Today we are still not out to many people including our immediate families because of the hate that will be exhibited toward us.

After years of planning, studying and begging physicians to help us, we were blessed with beautiful twin daughters that were conceived by donor insemination in 1988. This was a time when the path to family making for lesbian couples was still being paved. One of us is a professional nurse and the other is a stay at home mother and teacher. Our daughters were home schooled and both received full academic scholarships to college. We parented our girls without any support from the gay community. We live in the middle of the Bible belt and were afraid of having our children taken from us if we publicly practiced a gay lifestyle.

Our daughters always knew they had two mothers and that we were a special family. They were always proud of us and would eagerly tell people they had two mothers when asked which one of us was the mother. When asked “where is your father”, both girls were quick to reply, “we don’t have one.” When they were 11 years old a friend asked them if they missed not having a father and their response was “how can you miss something you never had.” To us they were well adjusted. We had so many compliments on their behaviors and were told how wonderful and respectful our children were.
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The Day I Saved a Life – The Trevor Project

Aug 22nd, 2011 04:00 PM By Kenny

January 1, 2009, I arrived as I would any other day, to the Randy Stone Call Center in Los Angeles, aka The Trevor Project, West Coast Call Center.

Over the past few weeks I had worked roughly 4 prior shifts, all in which superseded another; in call volume and true help line calls. My shift had just started, it was about 6:40 p.m. and the phone rang. We’ve learned to expect the unexpected.

I answered, “The Trevor Helpline, this is Kenny- what’s going on?”- My caller in a calm, confident, juvenile tone replied with a simple question “What’s this line for?”- I casually replied with a paraphrased mission-like statement of what The Trevor Project was: “Well, we’re the only nationwide LGBTQ Youth Suicide Prevention/Crisis Hotline” I quickly added “What’s your name buddy?” He quickly said “I’m Marcus”.

Marcus was 16 years old living in the great state of Texas. During the first 5 minutes of casual talk with Marcus, he didn’t sound distraught, he didn’t sound in a crisis – and what I mean by that was he’s breathing was well paced, no emotions were evident, nor was his talking irrational. When I asked Marcus why he was calling the helpline, he calmly stated he was just checking it out.
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Why I Give a Damn

Aug 22nd, 2011 03:40 PM By Tex

My name is Tex. I’m a 35-year old gay professional who lives in South Carolina. I struggled with my sexuality most of my life. I can remember being in elementary school and being more interested in the boys than the girls. Even when my friends were making that transition from “girls are icky and stupid” to dating them, I was more interested in my gender. I had always heard I’d grow out of it, but I never did.

I was in love with my best friend. We went through junior and senior high school together and I never told him how I felt. I was afraid that he would reject me and our friendship would be ruined. Even when he went off to boot camp after high school, I just said a teary-eyed good bye and spent the next few months in agony missing him.

I tried to be straight. I dated a few girls, but it was never serious. I dated one girl in high school for almost two years and I even had her move out to Charleston with me when I was stationed there in the Navy. Needless to say, we were “serious” but things didn’t work out and she moved back home after a few months.

I went to church to try and get God to change me. After all, being gay is a “sin,” and I thought if I turned to God and confessed this sin that He would “fix” me. It never happened.
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