My Brazilian Fiance

Jul 29th, 2010 07:58 PM By Sandra

I am a California resident that has been in a committed relationship for almost four years. My fiance lives in Brazil and has tried to get a U.S. visa more than five times. We have tried for a student, tourist, as well as a fiance visa. Every time that we apply, she is turned down.

She was given a DD-214 letter when she attempted the student and tourist visas. When we applied for the fiance visa we were denied because marriage in the U.S. is defined as between a man and a woman.

It has been a LONG journey attempting to maintain our long distance relationship since 2005, but we are VERY committed to one another. It is our hope that the U.S. law will change and allow us the right to marry.

I am dependent on staying here in order to make ends meet financially. With the current economic crisis, I have not been able to travel to Brazil as I had been earlier in our relationship when I was fortunate enough to afford to do so several times per year.

If our laws do not change soon, the destiny of my relationship is unknown. It is my hope and prayer that this change occur sooner rather than later.  We have been forced to live separate lives in two different countries, unable to share in each others day to day life issues. I look forward to change not now… but RIGHT NOW!

Knowledge Changes Everything

Jul 23rd, 2010 04:34 PM By Sara

My father is a very conservative, church going, man in his mid 50’s. He’s always been against the fight to give homosexual people the same freedoms that heterosexual people enjoy.

I showed him the stories and videos on this site. He had no idea you could be fired from your job for being gay. He thought civil unions were the same thing as marriage. He didn’t know couples raising kids together can have those kids taken away. He hadn’t thought about couples where one is from another country at all.

Reading though the stories on this site, watching the videos, he has changed his stance completely. He still thinks being gay is wrong, but has decided gay marriage should definitely be legal.

This is a huge step for someone I thought would be entirely too stuck in his ways to change. A little knowledge, with an open mind, can turn even those who wouldn’t normally support something completely around.

My Husband and I Give a DAMN, Gay People are Not Alone.

Jul 13th, 2010 01:39 AM By Christina

Hey, I wanted to share my story just to let young gay people out there know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If you think other gay, transgender, or bisexual people are the only ones that care about your rights I want you to know that they aren’t the only ones.

I live in California where I watched straight people fighting hard against Prop 8 (which over turned gay marriage in this state). My husband is in the NAVY, and him and many others serving (who are straight) GIVE A DAMN. They want you young people to some day be able to openly join and have benefits for your partners in the military just like the ones they have.

I have faith in the lawyers who want to take their gay marriage case all the way to the Supreme Court.

I have faith in the 14th Amendment that gives you all equal rights.

I have faith in Obama making sure “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will be a thing of the past.

But most of all I have faith in young people who are moving beyond the bigotry of the past, gay and straight, and everything in-between, you are this nation’s shining hope for tolerance, acceptance, and equality.

I had a straight young man come up to me last year when I was discussing Prop 8 in a mall with some friends.

He was just this random young man, he was with his girlfriend who didn’t seem too interested in the subject, but he got very passionate. He told me about family he has in the Middle East who could be jailed for standing up and speaking their minds, and he told me seeing how badly their lives were affected by their inability to speak up it made him grateful for his right to speak up in THIS country, and he intended to use that right to help people like the couples who were hurt by Prop 8.

This young straight male showing such depth really gives me hope for future of our country.

You hold in there young people and fight the good fight, because there are people out there who don’t even know you (who aren’t even affected by the inequality you have to deal with) that are ROOTING FOR YOU, and they are fighting WITH YOU.

Torn by Two Countries

Jul 13th, 2010 01:29 AM By esperanza

I have been with my partner for almost 4 years. We got married in California on November 1st, 2008. It was the best day of my life because I was able to join my life with the person I love and because for once I thought we were having the equality every other person gets in this country.

A couple of days after we got married we heard the unfortunate news, gay marriages were being banned from California. I thought that was so horrible because we all deserve to have the same rights as “heterosexual” couples do. With my marriage I am not able to help my spouse become legal in this country because a marriage has to be between a man and a woman to be recognized by immigration.

Now that people are committing hate crimes against Hispanics and with the new law passed in Arizona we are scared that will happen where we live and if it did I would have to move to Mexico where my partner is from. I disagree with that because why do I have to leave my country just because people are not open minded about the differences we all have.

So, I would like people to stand up for LOVE, not judging if you’re a man with man or woman with woman, because everyone deserve to love whom ever they want without being judged!

Living in Exile

Jul 13th, 2010 01:25 AM By Shannon

In order to be with the person I love, I have to live abroad.

I am an American citizen and I married a German woman, but I do not have the right to sponsor my own (in this country) legally recognized spouse for immigration to my home country. Luckily there are countries in this world that do recognize our love and allow us to stay together. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be leading the happy life I am now in Germany with my partner of over 10 years. If she hadn’t been a citizen of one of the handful of compassionate countries, then I would have had a much sadder story to tell you here. We are among the lucky ones. But many are not so lucky.

Isn’t the USA supposed to be a leader in issues like human rights? Shouldn’t it be among the compassionate countries that allow loving couples to stay together? Shouldn’t every American citizen have the right to bring their own spouse home (legally!) if they chose to?

Thanks for reading my story and for giving a damn! And thanks to Cyndi!

An American Dream

Jul 13th, 2010 01:23 AM By Joern

Now the discussion about immigration reform has been started. Everybody talks about the obvious: illegal immigration. I do believe it is and probably should be the most central topic of immigration reform, but let me tell my story and give you an additional thought on the immigration overhaul.

I first came to the United States in 1999 as part of a three-week student exchange program with my high school. As soon as we landed in Newark, I fell in love with this country. So I returned in the summer of 2000, this time to participate in a one-year exchange program in Montana. That year was probably the best year of my life and I transformed my English skills from a C to fluent. I returned to Germany, finished high school, completed my 10-month compulsory civil service and came back to the U.S. in 2005 to pursue a degree in Film and Television. In December of 2008, I graduated summa cum laude from the University of North Texas. Fortunately, there is a program that allowed me to hold a work permit related to my field of studies for one year as an extension of my student visa. I moved to Portland, Oregon and started working in film production. Since this field often times consists of freelance work (especially outside of New York and Los Angeles), I was unable to find a sponsor who would be able to employ me permanently and sponsor a work visa. Nevertheless, I worked hard for almost 12 months straight moving from one movie project to the next. After my work permit expired, I went home… and was miserable. And here is why:

After having lived in the United States for almost 5 years straight (plus the other months I spent here on vacation and exchanges), I identify myself more as an American than as a German. I think in English, I speak English 99% of the time, I understand the value of the US dollar better than the Euro, I run distances in miles and not kilometers, I know what 70 degree Fahrenheit feels like. I have an Oregon driver’s license, a Social Security number, and an American boyfriend, which makes us a bi-national same-sex couple. We have been in a committed relationship for two years and actually moved together from Texas to Oregon. We live together, have a joint bank account and are insured together through a domestic partnership policy. Unfortunately, this means nothing in the eyes of the federal immigration law.

Besides receiving one speeding ticket (in Kansas of all places), I have never been charged with a crime, nor do I plan on carrying out illegal activities in the future. This also means that there is no way that I can stay here with my partner and my amazing friends in a city I love more than any other place in the world. Yes, I could get “married” to a girl to receive permanent residency, but in the eyes of the law, this is an illegal activity and, thus, not an option for me.

Never in my life have I been so frustrated and scared. In Germany, my chances are very slim to find a job in my field. The German professional field is very structured and many companies don’t even have a true understanding of the education I received in the United States. After having been in Germany for two months at the beginning of 2010 and being unable to find a job, I returned to Oregon as a tourist (which limits me to stay for 90 days with no ability to work). After the first week, I already had two job offers, but had to turn them down (again, it would have been illegal if I had accepted them).

The scariest part is that I cannot be open about my relationship to many people. If I try to enter the U.S. as a tourist the next time and I would tell an immigration agent during the regular interview process that I came to see my boyfriend, I could be denied entry to the country because it constitutes a reason to believe that I would remain in the United States unlawfully.

I want to be with the people I love, but due to discriminating immigration policies, I am unable to do so.

So this is my story and there are many others like this out there. I hope this country will change eventually and let me be the good citizen I already am. That’s why I give a damn and so should you!

Doctor in Exile

Jul 13th, 2010 01:19 AM By Lisa

I give a damn about immigration and lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) health care!

Last year I left my job as a primary care doctor and HIV specialist at one of the only community health centers focused on providing care to the LGBT community regardless of ability to pay! I left because I was forced to choose between staying in my country heartbroken or immigrating to the UK to be with the love of my life. I chose love, and I don’t regret it. But, I had to make a tremendous sacrifice by leaving my country and my career.

Here in the UK, my specialty training isn’t recognized. My partner supports me while I use my savings to pay tuition for graduate school. While I will eventually have to work again, I have faced a huge professional and financial setback as I approach middle age. And I’m saddened that my skills and experience are currently a wasted resource. We spent thousands of dollars on lawyers to try to find my partner a legal way to be with me, but nothing worked out. She is incredibly talented, and even tried to start a business that would have employed Americans during a recession! But the US is tough on UK applications…the British can’t even play the green card lottery!

But listen! We are the lucky ones! We are fortunate in that we have the financial means to make these changes. We are fortunate in that my partner comes from a country that respects our relationship and has allowed me to immigrate. I can also study and work in my own language! There are too many couples in our situation who don’t have a safe place to live together openly and legally! Too few of our voices are heard on this issue since many couples fear repercussions if they dare to speak out! Some people are separated from their partners for months or years and struggle to get even a tourist visa to visit! No American citizen should be in this situation! Straight Americans can get married and get their spouses a green card! In fact, even gay non-Americans who get visas to work in America have more rights to bring their partners to the US than I do! Please everyone, start giving a damn! Immigration is a federal issue so state marriages do not help in this case unless DOMA gets overturned!

Start fighting for the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) and the Reuniting Families Act (RFA) and LGBT-inclusive Comprehensive Immigration Reform (CIR)! We should all have the right to live in America with the one we love and to pursue our professional and personal dreams in our own society!

No Marriage, No Greencard

Jul 13th, 2010 01:05 AM By Amanda

My partner and I have been together for 6 and a half years now, she being from Germany and me from the US. After September 11th, it seems that getting a green card is next to impossible and my partner must renew a work visa every 3 years. The catch is that she must remain in the same job for those 3 years, and since she works in human services, there is always a fear that she may be laid off and forced to move back to Germany. She has received all of her education in the US, and paid taxes just like the rest of us!

If we were straight then I could have sponsored her and she would have had a green card long ago. Then we wouldn’t have to constantly be on edge each time she needs to renew her visa. It’s frustrating to see some straight couples, who haven’t even been together as long as we have, get married and here we are in a legitimate, committed 6 and a half year relationship, worrying about how our lives may drastically change. I am trying to stay positive and hopeful, just so that she remains strong through this process. We haven’t even begun asking the “what ifs.”

The best hope for bi-national gay couples is the United American Families Act!! Please call your representatives to advocate for this bill to be included in immigration reform!

Love Without Borders

Jul 13th, 2010 01:01 AM By Nicolas

I’ve left my life in the US. Not by choice, but because I’m a Colombian national. My American partner and I do not share the rights that partners of the opposite-sex typically have — rights that would allow us to be together. Today, we are separated by thousands of miles, and a culture of discrimination against two people who genuinely love each other.

During my 2008 internship in the United States, I had the fortune to meet an American, who is now my partner. We discovered how much we add to each other’s lives, and how we are meant to be together. Despite our distance, we still feel this very strongly. It has been the best experience of my life to meet someone who has changed me so dramatically and instilled in me a feeling of love I had never before experienced. But, it has also been so bittersweet. To say good-bye to the person I care for most has left me drowning in sadness. I brought home with me both wonderful memories and a heartache nothing has relieved.

We keep in touch and visit each other as often as we can, but it’s not easy because, even apart, our lives must continue. Each day we wonder what our best course of action is to be together more permanently. Staying in contact over the internet is not the same as when you breathe the same air and dream in the arms of the person you love. Love is a right we all have — one that should not be separated by law. We feed our love through photos, messages, and phone calls and long for the day it can flourish by living in the same space, holding each others’ hands, and being a constant presence in each other’s lives.

From Bogotá, you have my support and best wishes. Because I miss my one true love so much, the person who understands me best and gives me my reasons to live, I too give a damn.

Hart2Hart A Fight for Equal Rights!

Jul 13th, 2010 01:00 AM By Laurie

I’m a US Citizen and married a woman from the UK in Massachusetts on July 29, 2006. Since then, we have spent time in both countries.

During this time I’ve established my own Wedding Photography business in the US, have become power of attorney over my father, who at the age of 66 had open heart surgery and then suffered a severe stroke three weeks after, and I also have a sixteen year old son.

Each time Caroline and I enter US Border Protection at Logan Airport, I get interrogated on why she is spending so much time in the country. I feel like we’re criminals.

I was told on many occasions that I should move to England in order to be with her. I find this not only appalling but heartbreaking to live in a country that can decide who I should love. I thought the USA was the land of the FREE!

In October, Caroline and I will be traveling to the UK and was told that Caroline will be denied entry into the USA.

I need your help! Caroline has a Visitors Visa and has never overstayed her time. How can a country tell me to choose between my country, my son, my father, my business and the woman I LOVE.

My rights as a US Citizen has been violated and I need your help!