While none of our teens has come out to us, we have raised them to believe that being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered is absolutely okay. Hopefully soon, we will become a foster/adoptive family. It is our goal to provide a permanent, safe home and an accepting, caring family for a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered teen. Some people think we are crazy for this, but we don’t care what they think. This is definitely a challenge in rural western Illinois. It is not exactly an accepting climate all of the time. But our family feels we are up for this challenge.

After years of planning, studying and begging physicians to help us, we were blessed with beautiful twin daughters that were conceived by donor insemination in 1988. This was a time when the path to family making for lesbian couples was still being paved. One of us is a professional nurse and the other is a stay at home mother and teacher. Our daughters were home schooled and both received full academic scholarships to college. We parented our girls without any support from the gay community. We live in the middle of the Bible belt and were afraid of having our children taken from us if we publicly practiced a gay lifestyle.

Our daughters always knew they had two mothers and that we were a special family. They were always proud of us and would eagerly tell people they had two mothers when asked which one of us was the mother. When asked “where is your father”, both girls were quick to reply, “we don’t have one.” When they were 11 years old a friend asked them if they missed not having a father and their response was “how can you miss something you never had.” To us they were well adjusted. We had so many compliments on their behaviors and were told how wonderful and respectful our children were.

Our daughters were professional musicians and singers and never did anyone know their mothers were gay. They always thought their aunt lived with them and helped with their schooling. We know this doesn’t seem healthy to many of you but we did the best we could so that our girls could have a career and not be taken from us. We worked very hard to make sure the girls had everything they needed and most of what they wanted. They were very appreciative and loving toward us.

In 2007 when the girls started college, our world tragically changed. The girls were introduced to people that had very strong religious views regarding gay people. Our girls were influenced by many of these people that they were products of Satan and were going to hell for the lifestyle we lived and they could change this by staying away from us. The girls eventually met males that would change our lives forever. These boyfriends are the very type of boys we warned them to stay away from. One of them now has a child we are not allowed to see because we are gay and he doesn’t want the child around us. Both girls’ boyfriends have given them an ultimatum “either your parents or us.” Unfortunately they didn’t choose their family. How did this happen when we taught them to love their family?

We gave them everything our hearts held and now for this moment hate has won; however, we will continue to hold onto Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

We will forever believe, have faith, and hope for hate to be eradicated. We will continue to grow old together in belief that the best is yet to come. Dear Lord, hear our prayer and make the hate go away.

My dad drove me to the brink of insanity, I was contemplating suicide and had to see a therapist. Throughout this whole process my M.O.M. was the most supportive. Her and my mom helped me fight away the bad thoughts and rebuild my self-confidence. It can be difficult with so much estrogen in the same house, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my two moms and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without them.

About a year ago, my mom came out of the closet to me and told me she had a girlfriend, but little did she know I’ve known for a while. I love and accept my mom for who she is and I couldn’t be happier for her. Her girlfriend Amber is a loving and caring person and I love her as much as I love my own flesh and blood.

I’m in college now and for a while I lived on my own in Sunnyvale, CA and now that I’ve switched majors, I moved in with my mom, grandma, my mom’s girlfriend, and her two kids. The country is a lot different from the city life I’m used to living, but I’m making the adjustments.

This is a brief summation of the experience I’m having with my mom, her girlfriend and their way of life and luckily no one has said anything negative, at least not to my face. For now, we’re happy. We’ll just see how things go.

-Celeste

I met and married a girl from the Pentecostal church and had three beautiful children. Though being a gay man, I was like as many heterosexual males, I wanted to be a daddy more than anything on this planet. I had no idea how it would affect me once I actually became one. To start, I thought, as so many before me and unfortunately others will behind me, feel that the whole marriage and family thing would change me. As all who read this know that does not work. If it is not broke then it does not need to be fixed. I wish someone could have told me that over twenty years ago.

We had moved to Kentucky to be close to her side of the family, which I found later was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever done. She was not a very nice woman. She knew before we married that I was gay, but was not at all deterred by it. She actually loved it in my opinion. She got a full-time mother, house wife, chief cook and bottle washer. Between stress of the marriage and being extremely unhappy, not to mention effects from child abuse, I began having mental and physical health problems. I took all that I could stand and stood up to her.

When I finally got the nerve, she threw me out with just my clothes and a few pictures that I could sneak out. Four months later she left and moved to Eastern Kentucky to live with a man she had met on the internet and took the kids away from me. I thought I was going to die. All we had that I cared about was the kids and when she took them for me, at that time life was over. Where things have been left at, she was awarded full custodial rights to the kids and I was not allowed to see them if I lived with anyone that I was not either related to or married to, neither male or female. We never stood before a judge or lawyer. The custody rights were given to her when the attorney’s office called and requested that I come in and sign child support garnishment.

The lady in the office failed to tell me that it was also giving her full custodial rights, when I asked to take them to an attorney to have them looked over she stated that I would be in contempt of court and that if I did not sign them right then and there I would be arrested. So this is how she had the upper hand. Since then she has retained her rights and my visitation has been very little and at times years apart. They are older now and because of her telling them what she has wanted them to hear they now want nothing to do with me. I feel as though my heart has been broken a thousand times over.

The best part of it all is that I have remained single all of these years in hopes that I could have the relationship with my kids that I still don’t have today. God has been my strenght and refuge. I am now a minister of the gospel, moved to Philadelphia and am trying so hard with God’s help to go on with my life. I will never get over the hurt, each time I look at their pictures I see the kids that I have never been able to be a part of.

I hope this helps someone else out there, time does heal. Love, Lee

They were surprisingly okay with it. At that moment I realized that not everybody in the world discriminates against gay people. If we can find more people like that then we can make a big change for them and things can be very different. I can’t stand when people, especially churches, discriminate against gay people. The fact of the matter is god loves all his children, it doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation is. I give a damn and I encourage all people to do the same.

I couldn’t think of a more wonderful friend to be a dad, and supported him fully as he went through the foster parent application process. He struggled with some of the more personal questions about his life and kind of “packed away” his being gay in order to be an “upstanding Christian parent”.

This was heartbreaking, but I knew he was doing everything within his abilities to become the parent he was meant to be for the kids he truly desired to have in his life. He was approved for foster care, and soon became the adoptive single dad of a teen and a set of 7 year old twins.

He’s been a beautiful beaming dad ever since. I only wish that he could have accomplished this without having to sacrifice having a partner to share it all with.

With Father’s Day approaching thoughts of him are near and dear to my heart. He’s the best dad in the world and deserves all the love in the world.

I wish more people in Texas Gave A Damn.

note: I’ve worked with children in foster care for several years. The kids that are pulled from tragic situations, the older children, the children with disabilities, the “hard to place” kids don’t care if you’re straight, gay, have a third arm, can’t dance, if you’re bisexual, if you are rich or poor or are allergic to cats. What they care about is having a home with someone, or more people that genuinely care for them. Consider adoption and foster parenting, share the love.

I enjoyed every single day that I was at the school. As soon as word got around that I was a lesbian, that’s when the teachers shunned me and I was not asked to teach anymore. I loved those kids and was deeply hurt by this. There was nothing that I could do! My son was treated badly and two girls would often do underhanded things to him that just broke my heart as a mother.

He didn’t seem to mind, but if he did he never said because he loved me very much. My son did not want his picture placed in his 8th grade annual. I never knew the reason. Was it because he hated that school? Did these kids hide his paper that he was suppose to have sent home telling about the pics being in the annual? I don’t know.

I can remember another time when he wanted me to spray orange spray paint on his hair for a week. I remember asking him why he wanted to do this and he said that he just wanted to. But looking back, I figured that they were beginning to make fun of him,s o maybe he thought he would give them a real reason to laugh. I don’t know.

I stayed in this small community, held my head high and time moved on. My son has turned out to be a fine young man and I am very proud of him! He will be leaving for the Army soon and fighting for our country. We’ve been thru a lot. My divorce when my son was eight,was also terrible.

My ex told all of our neighbors about me being gay. He also was told me that we couldn’t stay in our home becaue he would burn it down. So we left to move in with my mom. I had to sneak back in to get our things.

Today, I am still out and will never hide who I am. I love my son, family, God and my country! I will continue being who I am and YES I Give a Damn for sure!!!

To see them turned away from careers, unable to get married, not being able to adopt because they’re living in the world. I can relate to this pain in more ways than people can imagine, because along with being heterosexual, and Christian, I am also African American one of the few on my campus.

I go through days where I am looked at hatefully, and told hateful remarks. So I understand what hate based on uncontrollable circumstances feels like. That’s why I can’t hate anybody based on their sexual orientation, race or religion. That is why I give a damn.