Up until a few years ago, my partner of 17 years and I were the “ideal couple,” the two people all our friends thought would never split up. We had a good life, and what I thought to be a solid relationship. Then we made a decision to become parents – it was after all, something we very much wanted but had for one or another reason put off over the years. Most stories of this kind end well; unfortunately, my story gets complicated. After a series of events during the pregnancy which included the loss of one of our twins, our amazing son was born. He was, and is, a sweet and loving child, and for that one can never look back in regret. But my partner, who was the birth mother in the pregnancy, ended up suffering from post partum depression, and after two very difficult years where she had trouble dealing with both the baby and herself, was eventually also diagnosed with a mental illness which apparently was exacerbated by the pregnancy itself.
A year later, plagued by demons of her own making, my partner simply decided she wanted out of our relationship. Without so much as an explanation why, in a day’s time she simply left our home and eventually went to live with a “friend” in another state, many miles away. No discussion, no forewarning, just a clean cut from the past and a leap into a new life, what she perceives to be a new beginning. But in doing so, she also took my life with her: our son. Given her circumstances, I was the parent who spent the most time with our son… and I was there from the first minutes of his precious life. But just like that, he was snatched away from me, and there wasn’t a single thing I could do. Thanks to our our lack of standard parental rights, GLBT parents who are not the birth mothers or are not related to the child by blood, basically do not have ANY rights.
My mom always wanted a little girl and when she got one she was so excited. She dressed me up in all this pink little outfits and did my hair all nice. But, I liked to play in dirt and play with the boys. My mom did not like this one bit, she finally has a girl and its not the kind of girl she wanted. I started to dress like a boy at the age of ten or so. She didn’t like it at all, she tried to get me to wear dresses and the like but I couldn’t wear that.
In 7th grade, I told my friend I was bisexual, thinking that I’d say that because my mom wants me to like boys. In my heart, I knew I could never like a guy more than a friend, but I kept quiet thinking that my feelings didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was what my mom wanted. Now I know that my feelings count to, though I haven’t come out to my mom yet, I’ve come out to myself, and isn’t that the first step?
I was working one night by myself, which is common for my place of work. This guy that comes in a couple times a week likes to talk a lot. He recently found out I was a lesbian and I have a partner, so he like anyone else had questions. He asked me if it was ok to ask a personal question and I agreed as long as it was not crude to who I am. He asked what I thought about marriage and why I wanted it so badly. I told him my reasons.
He then went on about children, which is a new subject for me and my partner. I felt I could trust him that he wouldn’t “bash” me, but I was wrong. He asked if I thought it was wrong or immoral to write down on a piece of paper what kind of male I would like to donate sperm to me. I told him no. He persisted on this topic until I asked him why its ok for a straight person to walk into a bar with an “agenda” of what they are looking for. 9 times out of 10 when someone goes into a social place seeking out any type of relationship, there is generally a list of things they look for.
I am a mother of a 34 year old son who came out to me when he was 25 years old. During the past 9 years I have been an active member of Greater Boston PFLAG, writing stories for the newsletters, working and marching in our Pride Parade, mentoring moms and also doing speaking engagements.
It is through my work with GBPLAG that I have been able to make a difference and create awareness to friends and family about the importance of acceptance and inclusion of our GLBT family members.
I am 24 years old and I made a choice to put my baby up for adoption. I was raised with 2 moms, I choose a lesbian couple to adopt my baby. I know that my baby will have all the love it will need. I gave this couple a family and I am proud to say I support gays and lesbians adopting kids .
I worked in the filed of foster care for over 7 years as the director of foster care agencies, and it was my experience that my gay and lesbian parents were among the absolute best I could find. They were unselfish, motivated by love and compassion, patient and extremely dedicated. The children I placed in these homes were not in any way confused about their sexual orientation or gender identity as a result of being with gay or lesbian parents, and none of them ever asked to leave-for any reason.
In most cases, the foster children never expressed any kind of concern or even curiosity about the sexual orientation or gender identity of their foster parents, although it was made clear to them that they were free to discuss these issues if they wished. What was most important to them was that they felt loved and accepted for who they were, and most of them had to wait a very long time to find a home where this was true. They loved their foster parents and felt loved back. Nothing else really mattered to them.
I have to say that these children were among some of the most difficult to parent because they had been abused and abandoned. They would test their parents with oppositional behavior, get in trouble in school, and sometimes damage property. It was hard to find parents who could see beyond the difficult behavior to the needy child at the core and stick by him or her, but these parents had that dedication, and this is extremely rare. I give a damn because of such parents, and I want everyone to know that they are unsung heroes and heroines in my mind and heart.
I have a wonderful 10 yr old daughter. My ex-partner and I have raised her from the day she was born. While we ended our 14yr relationship about three years ago we have continued to share custody. She spends half of the week with each of us. She has called us both mom her entire life. We made sure that she was exposed to children of same sex relationships as well as children from straight relationships. We both love her and care for her. Both of us have had the privilege of helping our daughter grow, learn, love, and respect not only those people around her but herself as well.
She was slowly being taught by us as she grows that families come from many different places and are formed in many different ways. She had never outwardly questioned which parent was her “real” mom because we made it known to her that she was loved by both of us and that we were each one of her parents. Not so long ago my daughter started the fifth grade and for the first time in her academic career her teacher was new to the school and did not know us. A few weeks ago my daughter came home and I could tell she was upset.
12 yr old Caleb, son of lesbian moms, wrote a song & dedicated to the teens who recently committed suicide. Please watch & share:
My government class in high school (2000-2001) required a group discussion every Friday. The list of topics to go with these group discussions was given to us at the beginning of the school year. As I looked down the list, I came across a topic that I would come to dread all the way up until the Friday it was to be discussed in class. That topic was – “Should gay and lesbian people be able to have and/or raise children”. This was a touchy topic for me because I was being raised by a lesbian couple; my biological mom and her wife (of now 23 yrs!).
They had raised me together since I was 3 years old, with love, security, and above all acceptance for all. I am the women I am today because of them and I wouldn’t have it any other way. When I was in elementary school I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world because I had 2 moms, I was special, even all my friends thought I was lucky! I still felt that way in high school, but because kids, especially teenagers, are so cruel, telling everyone I had 2 moms got a much more different reaction in high school than it did in elementary. So for the most part, I kept that fact to myself. I didn’t keep it quiet because I was ashamed, but because I didn’t want to be judged, bullied, made fun of, outcast and so on. Only a select few of my friends, that I knew were accepting, knew about my 2 moms. And that is so sad by the way to have to keep secret the reason for why I am who I am!
August 2008 I met the love of my life–sweet Melissa–she is the love of my life and my eternity. I am blessed that she has allowed me to share her children and grandchildren. This is a true blessing and I am so thankful for her love and all that she is in my life.
She allows me to be a pivotal part in her family…we are truly a large and funny family that never stops laughing. We have been through rough times as well–but we maintain and go forward.
Myself and Melissa would like to thank all of you for WE GIVE A DAMN!!
WE GIVE A DAMN ALSO-Jody, Melissa, Chris, Jenni, Scott, Jacob,Amber, Dylan and baby Layla!!!!
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According to The Houston Chronicle: "A Houston judge entered an order on June 24 which prohibits a father from leaving his children ...Author: Admin
Approximately 500,000 children in the U.S. are in foster care. And more than 120,000 children languish in the public child welfare system—all while responsible, nurturing adults are prevented from adopting them.