I am now on the other side of 50 and have a daughter who I hope will not be deeply disappointed that her dad is bisexual. Many who I have revealed my orientation to chose to bury their heads in the sand or believe that I was ‘confused’ because I was sexually abused as a child. I commend the brave act of those who have stood up for themselves in recent years.

I am constantly exposed to negative words that are the opposite of love and acceptance. I am active in music and the spoken word in church, but careful not to be forward regarding what I’ve guarded in my heart most my life. My wife knows, and a few in my family and they’re not convinced, so I leave it as it is. It doesn’t bother me that I’m bisexual, but it does bother me that I did not have the courage to be open and honest about my orientation. I also regret that I never allowed love to grow with my male partners of the past and chose rather to hurt them by leaving.

It’s ironic that I’m not believed, but I’m not ready to shout it on the rooftops either.  I do give a damn. I love my wife and daughter and I’m not going to leave them, but monogamy in a heterosexual relationship doesn’t change my bisexuality.

I come from a town that consists of 2000 people and a lot of churches. I’m a southern Baptist and never really got why people said if someone was homosexual that they were going to hell. In the bible it says that it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you believe in Jesus as God’s only son and believe in what he did for us all then you are saved.

As the years went by I became more and more comfortable with coming out. I had met a girl that was also bisexual and I fell in love with her. We just couldn’t be together because we knew that even though some people would be okay with it, the majority wouldn’t and her parents would never let us see each other again.

One day, at my school, two girls who were known lesbians got caught making out. It caused such a stir that some people tried to start a movement. One guy started making and putting up posters telling gays to get out of the school and a lot of people who I grew up with tried to start a petition to get homosexuals and bisexuals moved to a different building. I was so torn up about it that I was scared to go to school for a while. I couldn’t believe that people had started acting that way. People I grew up and were close to started hating me and I lost a lot of friends because of my sexual preference.

I’ve been lucky enough to be accepted by my family but I know that there are many others who have to go through what I went through. I participated openly in the National Day of Silence and was kicked out of my church because of it. I’m ready for change. I lost someone I loved, was scared of my school, lost friends, and I was judged by those who teach tolerance.

I also come from a very conservative Christian home. My family has been part of our church for two generations so, needless to say, my family is a part of the fabric of the community there. I was never taught to hate anyone, but I was definitely under the impression that gay was not “okay” for me. My parents have met gay friends of mine and it was never an issue, but I was aware that they voted Yes on Prop 8, so I knew where they stood. I am thankful that they managed to successfully raise two open-minded children, despite their attitudes and the attitudes of the church.

Ironically enough, my parents are convinced that my sibling and I have been indoctrinated by modern culture, while they are the ones who tune in to a well known conservative news channel for a couple of hours every evening.

Recently, my parents “outed” me. I can’t blame them for being shocked and upset – I expected it. In fact, I expected it to be a lot worse than it was, but it was bad enough. They were filled with disapproval of my bad moral choice, read me bible verses condemning homosexuality, and while they reiterated that they love me, even now, four months later, I’m pretty sure they are still in deep denial.

My mom still likes to mention, “When you marry a nice man one day.” I am taking it day by day, but it is a very intense process, as I don’t wish to ruin my relationship with my parents, but it will have to change. To think that they would rather me live a lie and turn my back on the greatest love of my life so far, just so that it looks good to the rest of my family and our church friends, is devastating.

I know in my heart that God loves us all equally. Unfortunately, throughout history, the bible has been used inappropriately by cultures and a lot of churches to rationalize and mask their own hateful agendas. I am thankful that I have not turned by back on my faith, because it is one of the things in my life that is helping me to deal with my life at the moment, having just “come out” to my parents and some friends.

I have prayed for years for clarity and guidance regarding my sexuality and my faith and the position I am in with my family and church community, being a bisexual woman. What happened? I was finally put in a situation by my parents where I had the chance to stop lying about my relationship, and I took that opportunity.

Since coming out, I have met several wonderful Christians who have a deep, deep faith, and who truly strive to live by Jesus’ example that Love is the greatest thing of all, and I have found a church that is all-inclusive and is still rooted in the teachings of Jesus. I would encourage people to not give up on their faith, for the bible reads, “Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

There are all-inclusive faith communities out there if you look for them! My hope is that one day my parents, family and friends can celebrate me for who I am fully, otherwise, they’re going to miss out on a wonderful part of their lives.

When I finally came to terms with myself and who I am, I got up the strength to tell those around me.

No one accepted me.

It was as if the scripture “Thou shalt not judge” just flew out the window. I constantly had people telling me I was going to hell, and I had to “pray the gay away”

News flash: YOU CAN’T.

I didn’t choose to be gay, this is just the way I am. I shouldn’t have to skip my Anatomy class in high school just because 3 members from the football team said they would beat me up. I shouldn’t be shunned from church. And I certainly shouldn’t have to live in fear of losing my job for expressing who I am.

I GIVE A DAMN!

I went to college. A long way from home. It was the first time I was on my own in a sense. And through my interactions, collaborations, and being witness to various cultures of people (sexual identity included) without being around my family, I became aware that people are just people trying to love each other and that God loves all people. It was the first time that I realized the possibility that the reason why people were so “disgusted” or critical of it, was because they just hadn’t really been around any gay people, or didn’t know of any openly gay people.

After my first college year, one of my closest friends opened up to me and told me he was gay. I felt honored that he trusted me enough to tell me. He was laughing and I could tell he might cry, had I rejected him. He said, “It’s okay if you think its bad, but I just wanted you to know.” I said, “Congratulations!” I had a choice and at that time I don’t remember all the words I said but I told him I didn’t think anything was wrong with him.

I am now at the point where I don’t think being gay is a sin. I know that to some I probably am not seen as a TRUE Christian because of that. And you know what? I don’t care. And it’s because of that, that I am really happy. But I do care that other gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people feel loved, without guilt for being who they are, and are free to know and have whatever spiritual relationship they desire with God.

I am searching still for the right church where I as a straight woman don’t have to worry about other straight Christians making fun of and condemning homosexuality.  I hope that if someone is reading this, that it can help to know there are Christians out here who not only love you, but don’t think that the way you were born is an affront or a sin to God. Much love always. God bless you forever.

One day I called my best friend at the time and told her I had a major crush on her. She was so beautiful. When I told her I liked her more than just a friend, I swore she was going to freak being southern Baptist and all . Instead she understood and continued to treat me like her best friend and sister.

I came out to my mother and she is supportive. My pastor father prays for my soul and that God would make me straight. I’m happy being bisexual – it is the most natural thing in the world to me. The way I see it God created all of us gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and straight couples because he loves all of us equally. If I fall in love with a woman we should have the same human rights as straight couples to marry and raise a family. Maybe one day it wont matter what your sexual orientation is. We will all be equal.

When I was 11, I was forced out of the closet. I didn’t want to be gay, I never asked for this and at the time I would never have wished this upon anyone else. I found being gay to be so troublesome that suicide seemed to be the most logical option. I remember praying to God to forgive me for taking my own life, I really thought that this was my only option to seek solace. Then, the strangest thing happened. After an unsuccessful attempt to end my life, I felt an awakening within me. I felt God in my heart and truly believed for the first time I was created in his image.

Fast forward a few years, and it did get better. Although I am skipping over chapters of hate, shame and the feeling of total isolation- I am doing so with the specific intent- the focus is, IT GETS BETTER!

Preaching at me, telling me I will burn in hell for the choices I’ve made… I never chose to be this way. It’s who I am as well as WHO I WILL ALWAYS BE! I am engaged to an amazing man. We want children and it’s sad that they won’t be around. But, you are who you are, nothing and no-one will ever be able to change that. You are an amazing person! Be true to who you are.

When I have children, no matter what they are, I will love them. Love knows NO limits. I love you all! FOR WHO YOU ARE.