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Why is it So Difficult?

Sep 03rd, 2013 06:17 PM By Brad

I met the love of my life earlier this year. Christian, a Uruguay citizen, and I have been online friends for a couple of years yet our situations did not mesh until recently. We decided to get together, we fell in love, and now I am finding out how difficult it is for us to be together. I am blessed and thankful that I have a good job here in Michigan. I am able to afford to travel to see him, which I already have done two times this year and I have exhausted all of my vacation time for the year.

Would it be easy for me and my now fiance to get married and just come back here? Not right now. I do see the tides changing soon, but not soon enough. All long-distance relationship couples know what we are going through and they can relate. We just want to be able to hold each other. Yes, Skype is a great tool that we use on a daily basis.

The next step is he is going to try to get a visitor visa and then we are going to work on getting him a student visa. We just want to do what is right.

We give a damn! I hope the laws in this country change soon.

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Sep 06th, 2011 11:50 AM By Benedict

I am a European national who studied in the United States for a year. I was doing my first year in a PhD program in Las Vegas and met my current partner online. We visited each other frequently and given that my program could not fund my studies anymore, I had to quit. Since I am foreign national, I had to stay in school in order for me to remain legal in the United States. I, along with my partner, decided that I would move to his place and go to a community college in order to stay legal.

Before starting school, we both realized that this was putting a very big financial burden on us, given that I was not entitled to work in the United States, therefore my schooling was depending entirely on my US partner. Having not been able to afford school and/or to get any type of financial help from the US government, I had to leave the country in order for me not to become illegal. I tried to look for a job, but unfortunately I was not given the time of the day to even go to an interview since all the companies I applied to said that they did not sponsor foreign nationals. I felt really discriminated against.

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Winged Road

Aug 04th, 2011 11:47 AM By guido

A million miles away from me lives my boyfriend of three and a half years now. I’m talking West Hollywood, Los Angeles. I live in a little village in the Netherlands. We met online, got chatting and moved on to Skype.(All people in long distance relationships love Skype) One day he invited me to come and visit him. I did in August, about 5 months after our first contact online. I got off the plane, went through customs, got my suitcase and wheeled it out into arrivals at LAX, where Tod was waiving like a madman for me to notice him. We hugged, got to the car and during the drive home we held hands and just kind of never let go again.

But we have yet to find a way to get me into America permanently. Gays aren’t allowed to get married and I have no special skills that are worth getting a green card for. I’m not rich and I’m not politically in danger. And unlike in the movies, love doesn’t move mountains when it comes to bureaucracy.

Any way in is only temporary, how am I to say I will be with you forever, when I’m not allowed by law to be with him forever? Does that seem right to you? How do we make love move bureaucracy out of the way?

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American Ex-Pat in Sydney, Australia

Aug 04th, 2011 11:38 AM By Elcid

I met my partner in New York when he was on vacation and we hit it off quite well. I moved to Sydney to see if it could work, and three years later we are still madly in love. When it comes to choosing between the love of your life and your country, there really is no competition. We would love to live in the US, but Australia has made life here for us so easy and accessible, every year that goes by we struggle to find any reason to ever go back.

I miss my mom and dad and I wish they could be here when we start to have children, but in the end, they understand why we cannot live in the US. It’s a real shame, and it’s a heart-breaking story that you hear all the time with ex-pats from the US, but it can and will (hopefully) change one day. Until then, I’m eternally grateful that in Australia we count as human beings whose love is worth recognising for immigration purposes.

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The Costs of Inequality… Our Story

Aug 04th, 2011 11:32 AM By David and Eric

It was back in the last week of October, 2008. I was in the UK visiting my partner, Eric. It was yet another of the many many trips I was taking back and forth from San Francisco to London. Being in a long-distance relationship has its own unique challenges under the best of conditions. For us, being half a world away from each other meant we tried very hard to maximize what little time we did get to spend together.

So on this particular trip, we had taken a long weekend getaway to Cornwall. It was a brilliantly sunny late afternoon at Land’s End. (The extreme westerly point of the mainland of England.) We hiked over to an incredibly scenic point on the cliffs overlooking the North Atlantic. The sun was just starting to set, and the light was perfect to take pictures. So I told Eric to stand there against the panoramic view, while I took a picture. I then turned to face him, and with the setting sun shining in my eyes, I asked him to marry me.

He blinked a couple of times, and didn’t say anything, and frankly my heart stopped for a moment. A split second later, he smiled in that particular way he does, that makes my knees go weak. Then looked at me and said. “I already said yes a long time ago.”

I returned to the United States a few days later. While sitting on the plane, one thought kept ringing through my head like a trumpet blast. We were engaged!

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I Want to Help Change My Partner’s Family’s Life

Aug 04th, 2011 11:17 AM By yadhira

I’m a citizen of the U.S and my girlfriend is an immigrant from Mexico. We have been together for 2 years since April, I know we love each other so much we can’t imagine life without each other. She did and still has done so much for me, and I wish I could do the same for her, and not just for her but for her whole family that has been there for us as well.

Her and her brothers are some of the most talented and smartest people I have ever met, I love that no matter what they just don’t give up. My girlfriend loves school and she had to leave it at 12 to work to help her family. She came here to have a better life for her and her family, but immigrants here can only go so far. She works 24/7 and never stops, but in the back of her head she is always worried about getting caught by immigration.

She got her GED and her sister graduated from high school, they both graduated with honors and won many awards along the way, but can’t continue there education in collage because of their “legal status.” It was so heartbreaking to see them cry when so many people offered them scholarships and couldn’t take them because of that legal status thing. I know in my heart I love this girl and I would do anything for her, which is why I will move to Mexico with her, if we can’t do anything about her legal situation.

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Give a Damn about LOVE

Aug 04th, 2011 11:09 AM By Carol

I am in love with the kindest and most beautiful woman. We’ve been together for more than two years working overseas on cruise ships, but it has come the time for us to settle down on land and start living the rest of our lives. She is from the States, I am Peruvian and we’d rather live in the US than in my country, since we can access to a higher quality of life and provide a better future for our children when they come.

We are both on vacation; I just came back from the States where I was spending time with her. It was the first time that we have lived together for so long in a house like a real family and it broke my heart having to leave her behind. She has found a good job back at home and I love her enough to accept that this is a great opportunity for her and if we can make it through the long distance relationship, it will be good for our future.

I am going back to work in a few days and even when we have promised that this is not going to break us apart and we will be able to see each other from time to time, I can’t stop having nightmares at night… I don’t wanna lose her. She is the one!.

I wish the laws change soon enough, I hope that my voice and the voices of so many others like me can be heard soon enough so we can fulfill our dreams of love and happiness- the same dreams that other bi-national straight couples can achieve.

Please give a damn.

Thank you,


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Why Do I Have to Leave My Country??

Aug 04th, 2011 11:06 AM By Susan

As the title says, why do I have to leave my country to have a life with my fiance? America is supposed to be the greatest country in the world, and yet I have to choose between my country and another just for equality in marriage!!!

My fiance Karen and I have been together over 2 years now, patiently waiting for the ability for me to sponsor her for a green card… an ability that all heterosexual couples have, yet I do not. I am treated as a second class American with barely any of the same rights “normal” couples have. And that is a real shame. It’s a shame that Ireland and England and 17 other countries guarantee equal rights for LGBT couples, yet my own country, the Mighty USA, does not.

I have to now find someone to take care of 2 of my 3 cats because I cannot afford to take all 3 of them with me… I have to say goodbye to my 70 year old mother who just recovered from breast cancer and needs me to be HERE for her, my family… my friends. I have to sell almost everything I own because I can’t take it all with me and storage is too expensive. Why? Because my country is run by bigots. People who are so caught up in their hatred of anyone not like themselves that they work hard to keep those people from having the same rights they do.

How sad is that?

I want more than anything to be able to begin my life with my fiance… let’s work together to try and make that happen for couples like myself and Karen all over the world! Stand up! Speak Out! GIVE A DAMN! I do :)

Thanks for reading my story,
Oak Forest, IL

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Must We Leave the US to Seek Equality?

Aug 04th, 2011 10:51 AM By Kyle

Our story, I’m sure, is much like all the other couples who now live day by day, wondering if and when they will ever be able to live their lives in the same way as “non-same sex couples” take for granted every day. It is such a frustrating position to be in. I lived my whole life, proud to be a U.S. citizen, and sometimes feeling superior as I traveled the world for both work and vacation, thinking that I enjoy more freedoms than the people at all the places I visited. That was until I met “the one” at age 39, my job for a cruise line let me travel and enjoy the world. I felt unfulfilled at not having a partner to share the adventures of life, but had convinced myself at my age I was probably going to spend my life alone.

Then one night, while our ship was docked in Acapulco, a friend invited me out to dinner. At the last minute, he called and asked if he could invite a friend of his (another crew member on board our ship) along. I said sure, the more the merrier. I was waiting on the pier, and my buddy and his friend came down the gangway. I recognized the other guy as someone I had seen around the ship, but never met. We were introduced (his name was Ricardo), and headed into town for dinner. The conversation came very easy between us, and during dinner, my eyes met my new friend several times. Was he just being friendly, or actually looking at me.

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A Marriage Apart

Aug 02nd, 2011 06:30 PM By Mark Allan

Me and my long time boyfriend just got married last September 3, 2010 in Victoria B.C. We’ve been boyfriends for almost 3 years before marrying each other. I am from the Philippines and he is from New York. We’ve been in a long distance relationship for the longest time.

Though we are married, we still have no choice to live apart since my husband cannot sponsor me to be with him in the USA due to their Immigration Law. I even had to get a job here in Canada just to be closer to him… But it’s still not enough! We, as a married couple should have the same “Rights” as any other married couple has.


We are just one of the thousands of bi-national couples out there seeking our well deserved “Rights.”

Please help us start building our “LIFE TOGETHER”… Please give a DAMN!

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  • Immigration

    Because our country’s immigration system does not allow gay Americans to sponsor their partners for U.S. residency, many couples are forced to split or consider drastic life changes, such as an international move.


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