Before starting school, we both realized that this was putting a very big financial burden on us, given that I was not entitled to work in the United States, therefore my schooling was depending entirely on my US partner. Having not been able to afford school and/or to get any type of financial help from the US government, I had to leave the country in order for me not to become illegal. I tried to look for a job, but unfortunately I was not given the time of the day to even go to an interview since all the companies I applied to said that they did not sponsor foreign nationals. I felt really discriminated against.

I possess a BA and an MA in linguistics and would have been able to contribute to a company. However, due to my lack of luck on being sponsored by a company and the government’s unwillingness to grant us anything, I decided to move to Canada, as close as possible to my partner, where I am going to school. He plans on coming to visit me in December and we are getting married, even though the US government is not going to legally recognize our union. We have been apart for a month now and will only be able to see each other twice a year, due to financial restrictions.

Had my partner been able to sponsor me, I would have been able to work and I would have been able to afford my schooling in the US. We are suffering a great deal from this separation and consider it to be inhuman to allow people to go through such an emotional hardship just based on the conviction that marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. Our whole life is on hold and we cannot plan anything. We feel that the government is trying to destroy our relationship. However, with determination and hope, we really wish that one day, all this is going to change and we will be able to live together in the United States

But we have yet to find a way to get me into America permanently. Gays aren’t allowed to get married and I have no special skills that are worth getting a green card for. I’m not rich and I’m not politically in danger. And unlike in the movies, love doesn’t move mountains when it comes to bureaucracy.

Any way in is only temporary, how am I to say I will be with you forever, when I’m not allowed by law to be with him forever? Does that seem right to you? How do we make love move bureaucracy out of the way?

The winged road

What if I flap my wings
and search the skies for
the road to you?

What if I find you
sitting at a window table in an Irish pub
trying to hear
every single drop of rain
that splashes against the window?

Will I stare at you
from that dark corner
across the dimlit square?
Will I be such a cliché?

What if I search the skies
for the winged road
that leads to you
again
and again
and again?

How many corners can I occupy
before you notice me
in between all those raindrops?

Again and again
I search the winged road in the skies
for the what-if’s
that lead to you

And for some reason
that road
always leads to me
trying to see you
listening to every drop of rain
that splashes against the window
of that warmly lit Irish pub
in the dark corners of that square.

Always leads to me
wishing that one day
you will let me sit beside you
so we can listen to the rain
together.

I miss my mom and dad and I wish they could be here when we start to have children, but in the end, they understand why we cannot live in the US. It’s a real shame, and it’s a heart-breaking story that you hear all the time with ex-pats from the US, but it can and will (hopefully) change one day. Until then, I’m eternally grateful that in Australia we count as human beings whose love is worth recognising for immigration purposes.

So on this particular trip, we had taken a long weekend getaway to Cornwall. It was a brilliantly sunny late afternoon at Land’s End. (The extreme westerly point of the mainland of England.) We hiked over to an incredibly scenic point on the cliffs overlooking the North Atlantic. The sun was just starting to set, and the light was perfect to take pictures. So I told Eric to stand there against the panoramic view, while I took a picture. I then turned to face him, and with the setting sun shining in my eyes, I asked him to marry me.

He blinked a couple of times, and didn’t say anything, and frankly my heart stopped for a moment. A split second later, he smiled in that particular way he does, that makes my knees go weak. Then looked at me and said. “I already said yes a long time ago.”

I returned to the United States a few days later. While sitting on the plane, one thought kept ringing through my head like a trumpet blast. We were engaged!

One week later was election night. We were hopeful that America wold elect a pro-equality President. While campaigning for President, Senator Obama had indicated that while he was not in favor of “marriage” for same sex couples, he firmly believed in Civil Unions, and that couples like Eric and myself should have the same legal rights as any other American couple.

We hoped that might mean the new President would work to pass the Uniting American Families Act. A law that would allow same sex couples to sponsor their spouse / partner/ whatever- you want to call it, to come to the United States, just as opposite sex couples can.

Yet as 2009 moved into 2010 it was clear that there would be no movement on the issue of marriage or immigration equality. Faced with this reality we had to make a choice. We could continue the back and forth, long distance relationship we were in now, or we could pursue “plan b”. Where I would move to the United Kingdom. The UK, like most of Western Europe, grants same sex couples equal rights in terms of spousal immigration.

So in early 2010, we applied for a Civil Partner Visa. Trying to do this on your own is a lot like trying to perform surgery on yourself. It’s possible you could do it, but all it takes is one error to effectively make a huge mess of the whole thing. So like many couples we used an agency to represent us. Which of course is really expensive. But the end result was, we got the Civil Partnership Visa in October 2010, nearly two years to the week, that we got engaged.

The next step was to actually get registered as Civil Partners. Which you think, would be the easy part. Guess again. Because I am not currently living in the UK, the process is almost comically complicated, and involved multiple trips back and forth from San Francisco to London.

But on Monday January 17th, 2011, in the Lewisham Registry Office, Eric and I became legal spouses in the United Kingdom . It was an amazing day, with friends and family from as nearby as just down the street, and as far away as New York City, Dallas Texas, and Omaha, Nebraska.

On February 8th, we sent all our supporting documents, including my passport, and the completed final visa application to the UK General Consulate in Los Angeles. Along with the $1,200.00 application fee. The final document weighed more than seven pounds.

The confirmation email from the UK Home Office said that processing times for Settlement Visas is at least 50 days. So when my blackberry buzzed to alert me I had just received an email from the British Consulate in Los Angeles, my first thought was not a happy one. As only two weeks had gone by, I assumed our application had been rejected. We had forgotten to include some document, some piece of paper that now would doom us to go back to square one, and start this long agonizing, and ridiculously expensive process all over again.

It was with a sense of dread I opened the email. I had to read the email through three times before it finally registered in my brain what it actually said:

“Your application has been approved and the visa has been issued. Please check your visa immediately on receipt to ensure that we have completed your visa correctly.”

I called my husband and told him the news. Both of us spent the rest of the day in a slight state of shock, that this long journey we have been on to finally be together , was about to be completed.

On President’s Day, a UPS truck pulled up outside my building here in San Francisco. A rather harried overworked looking Driver handed me a package and asked for my signature. Inside it was my US Passport. On page 14, I found my UK Spousal Visa.

Three years, thousands of dollars in legal fees, government application fees, and more than 20 trips across the Atlantic Ocean later; We finally have the legal authorization to live together, work and build our life together in the UK.

So why am am I telling you this whole long, drawn out story? The answer is not an easy one. We had no choice, but to go through all this stress and expense for the simple reason that, the Government of the United States of America, MY government, is determined still, to treat me and my Spouse as 2nd class citizens

There are people and groups in American politics, who have vested interest in the preservation of homophobia and discrimination against Gay and Lesbian Americans. Certain politicians feel the only way to win elections is by making voters afraid of something. In 2004 it was Muslims and Gays. In 2010 it was “Socialists”. 2012 is shaping up to once again, to be the year the some candidates and groups will scream hysterically of some phantom threat of a “Gay Attack” on families and marriage.

When I hear “Social Conservatives”, in their opposition to marriage equality say; “Same sex couples can draft contracts that give them the same rights as everybody else. We don’t need to pass same sex marriage laws.”, it’s hard not to throw things at the t.v. The truth is same sex couples in the U.S. are anything BUT equal.

In 1776 it was Great Britain that treated the original “tea party patriots” as second class citizens. How ironic that in 2011, it is the new “tea party” that will fight with all it has, to keep the United States LESS free than Great Britain, whose citizens are treated far more equally under their laws, than Americans are treated here under ours.

So as we celebrate the ending of one journey and the beginning of another, our life together. Eric and I do hope that someday The United States will grow up. But in the meantime, to our friends, and our family, we look forward to you visiting us at home, in London.

Dave and Eric

Her and her brothers are some of the most talented and smartest people I have ever met, I love that no matter what they just don’t give up. My girlfriend loves school and she had to leave it at 12 to work to help her family. She came here to have a better life for her and her family, but immigrants here can only go so far. She works 24/7 and never stops, but in the back of her head she is always worried about getting caught by immigration.

She got her GED and her sister graduated from high school, they both graduated with honors and won many awards along the way, but can’t continue there education in collage because of their “legal status.” It was so heartbreaking to see them cry when so many people offered them scholarships and couldn’t take them because of that legal status thing. I know in my heart I love this girl and I would do anything for her, which is why I will move to Mexico with her, if we can’t do anything about her legal situation.

Every day I see her and her family get discouraged, and have found no other solution and are deciding to go back, they feel like even if they might not get far they will at least feel safer to go out. And like I said if she leaves I’m right behind her. Now that gay marriage is allowed in Mexico City, if we leave I will marry her over there. If we could get married here where I live I would have done it already, especially if we had immigration rights.

I believe that if something can be done for us, I can give her back what she has given to me and her younger brothers. She has always been a second mother to them and gave up and has done everything for them. By helping her I can help them.

They mean so much to me, they are a big part of my life, because they are my family. She is my family, I love her so much and I’m lucky to have her and to have a family that love her as much as me, and that wants the best for us. Even if its not here.

We are both on vacation; I just came back from the States where I was spending time with her. It was the first time that we have lived together for so long in a house like a real family and it broke my heart having to leave her behind. She has found a good job back at home and I love her enough to accept that this is a great opportunity for her and if we can make it through the long distance relationship, it will be good for our future.

I am going back to work in a few days and even when we have promised that this is not going to break us apart and we will be able to see each other from time to time, I can’t stop having nightmares at night… I don’t wanna lose her. She is the one!.

I wish the laws change soon enough, I hope that my voice and the voices of so many others like me can be heard soon enough so we can fulfill our dreams of love and happiness- the same dreams that other bi-national straight couples can achieve.

Please give a damn.

Thank you,

Carol

My fiance Karen and I have been together over 2 years now, patiently waiting for the ability for me to sponsor her for a green card… an ability that all heterosexual couples have, yet I do not. I am treated as a second class American with barely any of the same rights “normal” couples have. And that is a real shame. It’s a shame that Ireland and England and 17 other countries guarantee equal rights for LGBT couples, yet my own country, the Mighty USA, does not.

I have to now find someone to take care of 2 of my 3 cats because I cannot afford to take all 3 of them with me… I have to say goodbye to my 70 year old mother who just recovered from breast cancer and needs me to be HERE for her, my family… my friends. I have to sell almost everything I own because I can’t take it all with me and storage is too expensive. Why? Because my country is run by bigots. People who are so caught up in their hatred of anyone not like themselves that they work hard to keep those people from having the same rights they do.

How sad is that?

I want more than anything to be able to begin my life with my fiance… let’s work together to try and make that happen for couples like myself and Karen all over the world! Stand up! Speak Out! GIVE A DAMN! I do

Thanks for reading my story,
Susan
Oak Forest, IL

Then one night, while our ship was docked in Acapulco, a friend invited me out to dinner. At the last minute, he called and asked if he could invite a friend of his (another crew member on board our ship) along. I said sure, the more the merrier. I was waiting on the pier, and my buddy and his friend came down the gangway. I recognized the other guy as someone I had seen around the ship, but never met. We were introduced (his name was Ricardo), and headed into town for dinner. The conversation came very easy between us, and during dinner, my eyes met my new friend several times. Was he just being friendly, or actually looking at me.

After all, he was young, attractive, and his Brazilian accent made me smile. I was just an average American, nothing special about me. After dinner, we went to a bar for some more drinks, and the conversation between Ricardo and I became intense, and at one point my buddy left us alone to wander around the bar, because Ricardo and I were only talking to each other. Me about my home back in New York City, he about his life in Brazil. Finally it was time to walk back to the ship. Again my buddy was feeling like a third wheel, because Ricardo and I were talking so excitedly about life.

Once back on the ship, we said our goodnights before heading back to our cabins. At the last minute, Ricardo leaned in and kissed me, saying he would see me around the ship. That was it. I suddenly felt like life had given me a chance at happiness. I was not going to let it slip away. After very little sleep that night, I called my buddy (who was Brazilian also) and asked him how to say beautiful in Portuguese. I found a card, wrote about how I felt inside, and wrote “Ricardo Lindo” (meaning beautiful Ricardo) on the outside. I found out where his cabin was onboard, and slipped the card under the door. Much to my surprise, later that day Ricardo called my cabin, and asked if I could have lunch with him the next day, as the ship passed through the Panama Canal. Needless to say, that within the month, I having the privilege of having a single cabin, he moved in with me.

Over the next two years, we lived together, traveled together, spending time in New York City and his hometown of Sao Paulo. We both loved showing each other about their own cultures, and exploring places neither of us had been. We finally decided that we were tired of the life onboard a cruise ship, and decided to make our way back to New York City, and the apartment that had went from being mine to ours over the last two years together. But now, my privileged life of being a U.S. citizen, and living in the land of the free and being created equal, became my life of “not being created equal”. Our other heterosexual friends onboard the ships, became couples, married, and were welcomed with open arms to the country of either him or her.

But, because we were him and him, neither of our countries wanted us. They wanted us to be apart. We managed to have Ricardo apply for grad school, and get accepted to City College in New York. We knew this was a quick fix, but it would allow us time to make better plans. There had to be a way to be legally together. So for the next four years, while he attended grad school, we researched, consulted, called, and investigated every way possible that we might be able to end up together. It is amazing how fast four years can go by, especially when each day grows more urgent, as we find there are few solutions. So last July, after 6 years of spending every day together, we found ourselves at the cell phone lot at JFK airport, his bags in the back of our Jeep, both of us crying, delaying the moment at which I would have to drop him back at the terminal, for his flight back to Brazil.

Had it really come to this? Equal no longer meant equal. Free no longer meant free to enjoy my life as I had always wanted to enjoy it. I was just another citizen of another country that did not grant freedom of equality to all of its inhabitants. Even worse, there were 19 other countries in the world that granted their citizens more freedoms that what I, a privileged American, was allowed. I was angry at my country, and sad my life was being ripped apart. So as I waved goodbye at JFK terminal 3, through the tears that would not stop, I vowed to not give up. I would find a way. Now 6 months later, and hundreds of phone cards, daily Skype calls, and 3 round trips to Brazil, I find myself doing what I never even fathomed doing before meeting Ricardo. I am making plans to relocate to a country that has marriage equality. To a country more civil and accepting that my mother country. So instead of “America the Beautiful”, it will be “O Canada” and a chance to have a relationship with the person of my dreams, and a country that accepts us both. Wish us luck. Maybe someday U.S. citizens can hope to have the freedoms that other countries around the world have.

Though we are married, we still have no choice to live apart since my husband cannot sponsor me to be with him in the USA due to their Immigration Law. I even had to get a job here in Canada just to be closer to him… But it’s still not enough! We, as a married couple should have the same “Rights” as any other married couple has.

WE deserve “MARRIAGE EQUALITY”

We are just one of the thousands of bi-national couples out there seeking our well deserved “Rights.”

Please help us start building our “LIFE TOGETHER”… Please give a DAMN!

2 1/2 years ago, I met the man of my dreams. He is genuine, caring, compassionate, sincere, a hard worker, and above all else, he loves all of me… including my faults. What makes this special is the mutual feelings that we have for each other.

My name is Jacoby, but my friends call me Jake. 2 1/2 years ago, I met Marco. He was visiting the States from Mexico City where he is currently working as a musical theater performer. He is amazing at what he does.

Well, we started dating and have been forced to live apart for the past, almost 3 years. The immigration laws in this country are ridiculous. I live in Texas where it is illegal to marry someone of the same sex… much less sponsor them for immigration purposes. In the past years, we have only been able to rely on texting each other, the occasional visit to each other’s country, and of course web-cam. We web-cam every night… just to be able to discuss our day with each other. We have probably only gone about 15 days in the past 2.5 years without saying goodnight to each other.

We share similar beliefs about the world, similar thoughts and dreams about what we would like to have. Our biggest dream is for both of us to be able to live and work in the same city… much less the same country. But alas, we continuously get shot down with every shimmer of hope that comes our way. We both love the idea of moving to NYC or to LA so that he can follow his dreams of becoming an actor in the States and my love of art. These cities combine both opportunities for us to follow our personal dreams.

But, ultimately, we just want the same opportunity as everyone else in the is world. We want to have the ability to start putting our lives together, with each other. We need help and we don’t really know where to turn. Any information is welcomed.

Please join us in this fight. The fight for equality, not special treatment. The fight to be able to openly love and marry the man of my dreams and start a family with him. The fight to just be like everyone else… human.