A Horrible Place

Sep 19th, 2011 11:51 AM By Eric

Now we all know by now coming out in high school can be difficult and I’m no exception. I wish I had come out earlier, but like most was afraid to come out until I was 100% ready, which I still kinda wasn’t. I had waited until the middle of my junior year of high school and to my surprise a lot of people knew. All of my friends were accepting and I even found out some of my closest friends were bisexual and gay. But with that came the harassment.

Daily I would be ridiculed about being gay or teased, but I’m a lucky one because I didn’t have to deal with physical violence and I wish no one would ever have to deal with violence. Eventually when it came down to it people found out who I liked and told him. He literally tore me apart and might as well have shot me because what he had said killed me. So that same night I almost attempted suicide, but I couldn’t and to this day I am happier then ever that I didn’t do it because I may still be single and people still ridicule me, but I have a life to look forward to.

I have the chance to help people in my life that are going through the same things and since I have gone through it I can help. All those who think about suicide please push those thoughts out of your minds. All it does is let those who bully and hurt you know they have won and it takes away one very important thing that you could never replace. Your life and the love of your loved ones. So please don’t ever think about it and if you do just talk to someone so they can help you because we all can make it through this. I want you all to know that I love each and every one of you for who you are and not who you pretend to be.

It Really Does Get Better

Sep 19th, 2011 11:26 AM By Russ

I went to school in a very small town in east Texas. The bullying began in 6th grade. Being called a fag or homo was daily. High school was hell. My car tires were slashed, locker was robbed, homophobic cat calls, being beat up, you name it. This was in the 80’s, so thank God there were no cell phones or Facebook or I don’t know if I would have had the strength to get through. Absolutely, I thought of suicide daily and going to school was a struggle knowing what torture was in store. I had ONE goal, to get out of that f**king town and “re-create” myself.

It’s taken 3 years for me to decide if I should write this because it is not a solution for all you kids who read it and not heroic in the least. I decided in 10th grade that the only way I was going to end the abuse was to get out. I put every minute I had into graduating early, took every class I could, studied for the SAT like my life depended on it (which it did) and basically took CONTROL of my own situation. The hard work paid off, I was accepted to college after my junior year of high school without having to go through my senior year. College was so much different, new start and such a new beginning. Graduated from college in 3 years, went to law school and had even more acceptance. Came out to my parent (officially) at 30 and then went back to school at 35 and got my PhD in psychology.

I didn’t come out to my law firm until I was 40 but, when I did, it was basically “Big deal, like we didn’t know”. I was made partner in my firm that same year. I must give credit to Cyndi, because being a part of the True Colors Tour in 2007 & 2008 made everything make sense. I got married to my husband in California October 31, 2003, just before Prop 8.
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Gay (A Poem)

Sep 07th, 2011 12:11 PM By Willie

There’s something wrong with our way of thinking even as we play
Ignorantly insulting each other as we say
“That’s so gay”
It’s not okay

Because you’re insulting so many people without a single thought
Even without trying, you simply had bought
Into the idea that you weren’t, but you’ve been caught
In a web of discrimination, so saying you’re just playing is all for naught

There are people getting hurt without even a say
Because others hurt them and don’t want them to stay
Violence against them, they don’t ever play
All because they’re gay and others don’t think it’s okay

Think about the ones who’ve been hurt and died
Of the families who’ve screamed and cried
Never told a soul, “I’m okay,” they lied
Gave up on life because there was no place to hide

Be aware of what you’re saying before it’s too late
You might be justifying someone’s hidden hate
Saying it’s alright to deny their rights like Proposition 8
All because of who they love and who they choose to be their mate

Gay, Straight, Love, Don’t Hate

Sep 06th, 2011 11:41 AM By Jade

I’m gay, and I went to an all girls Catholic high school – the past 6 years were the best, and worst of my life (as expected at high school). As soon as I came out, and actually said “I’m gay,” so many people in my class stopped talking to me. Then I spiraled into depression, didn’t talk to anyone, made stupid mistakes, and honestly wasted months of my life being like that.

That’s where the friends I have now stepped in, they approached me in class, and asked if I wanted to hang out with them at lunch. Now we’re all best mates, they don’t freak out if I develop feelings for any of them, they make a joke of it – and I’m okay with that. But what’s worse is that teachers that I was really close with backed away, and that was the most screwed up thing about the whole situation. A 15 year old kid, coming to terms with their sexuality, heading into a downward slope of depression, anger and isolation, and they’re like “Hey, talk to me about class, and that’s it.”

But, last year, the senior class did a play to reflect their time at school, and my part (with the support of the amazingly awesome teachers) was to play “Boys Boys Boys by Lady Gaga” and replace the chorus with “Girls, Girls, Girls” … and the teachers who were all “Being gay is wrong” were not impressed. But hey, my school promoted individuality, that’s all I was doing, being myself!

The isolation and depression I felt when I came out and all of the above was insane, be yourself, stay strong, haters are out there, and they’re going to hate, but you are you. You’re beautiful and strong, and I can promise you, things will get better, just hang in there.

When Friends Don’t Give a Damn

Aug 22nd, 2011 03:50 PM By Michelle

When I first came out as bisexual, it was a big deal for me – I’d had my experiences with homophobia before I even worked out my sexuality for myself, so I was scared. Fortunately I was (and still am) a little headstrong as well, so I was who I was and nobody was going to change that.

They tried awful hard, though.

It’s funny how a week after you tell someone you’re bi, they can be asking you “how that lesbianism thing is going”, or a month after, they can be wondering what the hell is up with you dating a guy because hey, aren’t you gay? Being shunted back and forth between gay and straight, being told to “pick a side”, being passed off as a slut or just looking for attention, being told I am not who I am, that who I am just… doesn’t exist? I can handle that. Maybe not gracefully, maybe not 100% nonviolently, 100% of the time, but I can deal, in my own messed up way.

Being told that none of that is happening, I can’t handle. Because in a way it’s worse when people just don’t give a damn, when any mention of discrimination is met with a scoff because clearly, discrimination doesn’t happen nowadays. Because being told that bisexuality doesn’t exist hurts, but when not one of the people, who’re supposed to, give a damn that it hurts, well, that’s a pain that won’t go away with YouTube videos of adorable kittens.

I give a damn about equality because I will not hurt others with indifference.

I Give a Damn

Aug 22nd, 2011 03:46 PM By Staphani

I give a damn about equality. Though I am still in high school, one voice is still better than none. I lived overseas in places like Italy and Japan. When I was younger, around age six, I didn’t wake up and go to school dreading what to hear in terms of phrases and discrimination because I was only in first grade. The students I went to school with did not shout out at people to make fun of them the way I hear people do in the halls of the high school I attend today.

Starting around 6th grade, I began to hear people say the phrase “that’s so gay.” I thought at the time they were trying to say “That’s so happy” considering the definition defined in many dictionaries. I questioned it, asked people what they meant by it, and many replied with saying that it meant something equivalent to saying something was stupid. I myself am a lesbian. Even though when I did find myself attracted to guys a little bit, I have always been attracted to girls.
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Why I Give a Damn

Aug 22nd, 2011 03:40 PM By Tex

My name is Tex. I’m a 35-year old gay professional who lives in South Carolina. I struggled with my sexuality most of my life. I can remember being in elementary school and being more interested in the boys than the girls. Even when my friends were making that transition from “girls are icky and stupid” to dating them, I was more interested in my gender. I had always heard I’d grow out of it, but I never did.

I was in love with my best friend. We went through junior and senior high school together and I never told him how I felt. I was afraid that he would reject me and our friendship would be ruined. Even when he went off to boot camp after high school, I just said a teary-eyed good bye and spent the next few months in agony missing him.

I tried to be straight. I dated a few girls, but it was never serious. I dated one girl in high school for almost two years and I even had her move out to Charleston with me when I was stationed there in the Navy. Needless to say, we were “serious” but things didn’t work out and she moved back home after a few months.

I went to church to try and get God to change me. After all, being gay is a “sin,” and I thought if I turned to God and confessed this sin that He would “fix” me. It never happened.
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Near Fatal Faith

Aug 17th, 2011 10:50 AM By Christoph

I grew up as the perfect little church boy in my town. I never did anything wrong. Yet, I knew that I was something that the church condemned. I was gay.

I knew since I was little that I was different and many of the church members defended me from my classmates saying it was ok to be different. Then, as I got older the topic of homosexuality came up and everyone said they were evil and were going to hell.

When they said what gays were, I knew instantly that was me and I realized that the people who once defended me would not do so this time. I knew that the bible condemned it. I struggled to not be gay for a very long time and eventually I was deep in depression to the point where I was contemplating suicide.

Lucky for me, my parents got me into a GLBT youth group and I discovered that I was not the only one who felt the way I did. I also learned it was ok to be gay. So, I started to work on loving myself and accepting myself.

No matter how proud I am today I still don’t think I have completely accepted myself and I am still dealing with my depression. Although now I have to deal with my hatred toward Christians. I know that not all of them are bad, but I cant help but worry when I find out I am stuck with one on a project or rooming in a dorm. I am always worried.

Faith was nearly the death of me once before, so I am not sure if it will succeed this time or not.

It Gets Better

Aug 15th, 2011 11:16 PM By Frank

I grew up in the heart of the Bible belt, a college town in W. Va. during the mid 1950’s and 1960’s, to a Southern Baptist family headed by a WW II veteran, military background father. I was not necessarily “out” during high school, but I was sexually active and had feminine mannerisms. My mother and grandmother were my best friends. In fact, most of my friends growing up were adult women because I could not trust people my own age. At one point the harassment in High School was so bad that I contemplated suicide a couple of times. In fact, I did eat an entire bottle of aspirin, (the only thing I could find in the medicine cabinet at the time), and fortunately, I only got a little sick. For some unknown reason God had something else in mind for me; even though I was always taught at church that I was a sinner, abnormal, and a freak of nature, I knew in my heart that “my” God is a loving God, therefore I knew he loved and accepted me for the person I am.

Until after high school, I always thought the word “gay” meant happy. I had always been called “queer”, “faggot” and other derogatory names that definitely could not be considered as ego builders for a young teenager. After I graduated from high school, I went to work where I was befriended by another gay man who introduced me to the local gay community in my home town, such as it was. We had two gay bars that were private clubs with locked doors. I finally felt that I was among my element and made many friends and became an active part of my home town gay community. I was finally out, or at least as out as I could be in 1970, in a small W.Va. college town. We still had to be careful in those days but at least we did have a place of our own where we could be ourselves.
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Growing Up Without Hate

Aug 12th, 2011 01:56 PM By Ariel

I was born in the city of Ithaca, NY. It’s a small college town with a strong LGBT community and a heavy liberal bias. I was six when I became aware of same-sex couples. When I asked my parents why another child had two mommies and no daddy, it was explained to me in roughly these words “Well, most of the time girls love boys and boys love girls but there are some girls that fall in love with other girls and some boys that love other boys.” This seemed a natural enough explanation to me. For the next ten years I would occasionally stop to wonder if I would be one of the odd girls who loves other girls. I never struggled with my sexuality, just waited to see it play out.

At 14, I would move to rural Alaska, which does NOT have a liberal bias, and attended school on a military base, where sexual discrimination was legal policy. I had never been exposed to sexual bigotry before, and to this day I don’t believe anything has shocked me more. When my friend told my he had been suspended from school for being bisexual, I didn’t even believe him. Now 22, I still cannot wrap my head around the concept of hating queers. For me, they were always just some of the people around me: an aunt, a babysitter, a teacher.