Serona, The Girl Who Gave A Damn

Apr 04th, 2010 12:06 PM By STEVEN

I grew up in a neighborhood in the 70’s when discrimination first reared it’s ugly head. As a kid my earliest memories were being care free, having fun and making everyone happy in my little world. At an early age the dark cloud of judgment was cast upon me because I was told that I screamed like a girl and in other words was “light in the loafers.”

Closed minded people made me realize that life was not as innocent and perfect as I thought it was. This was not an easy time for me and thinking about it now as an adult, it truly upsets me that other children are frowned upon and treated like outcasts. They are so young they can barely defend themselves. Children who go through that!! God I feel sorry for them.

I was lucky enough to have a best friend a few years older than me. Her name was Serona and she was a beautiful African American girl who unfortunately had sickle cell and a heart disorder. She was told that she would not live past thirty. Serona did not have an easy life, but she had a gift. She had humor, insight and compassion, and most of all heart. Serona was one of my first heroines that gave meaning to “Give A Damn.”

As young teenagers she urged me to protest with her for equal rights in San Francisco. Not long after we became precinct leaders for the Democratic Campaign for president. To make a long story short, I am so thankful for having a friend to help me feel comfortable in my own skin and am so grateful that I got a chance to know her for teaching me that even as a kid I can be proud of myself and stand up for what I believe in.

Why I ”Give A Damn”

Mar 30th, 2010 05:44 AM By Mary Jane

I grew up in small PA town in during the 50’s and 60’s when no one talked about homosexuality. I attended graduate school for social work and was taught that it was a mental illness. Since I never knew anyone personally who identified as gay, I never took the time to challenge my misconceptions about what it meant to be gay. Why would I? The subject didn’t affect me – or so I thought!

But everything changed when our 23 year old second son came out to us in 1996. I knew I wanted to support him in every way necessary, so that meant I needed to better understand who he now was. After much reading, talking with him, attending PFLAG meetings and getting to meet gay youth and adults, I came to a clearer, more positive understanding of what it meant for him to be gay. Two very helpful books for me were Now That You Know and Always My Child.

Hearing Kevin Jennings, the founder of GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, speak about the need to make our schools safer for gay youth, sent me off on a new path of advocacy for gay youth. I soon learned about that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students suffer physical and verbal harassment in silence, often because they don’t get the support from school staff and administrators that they need. Through workshops that I provide, I find that most school staff want to support gay youth but they don’t know the issues or the ways they can and should protect their students.

My one piece of advice to straight teachers and administrators in the school community is to first, understand that the 10% of your students are or will eventually identify as gay usually feel completely invisible and alone in your class. You can make them visible by providing a safe learning space for them and by making the gay community visible in your curriculum. Give a clear message in your classroom that you will not tolerate any name-calling or bullying be it anti-gay or anti-anything. Then make sure you provide visibility of and discussion about the gay community through your subject matter.

Reaching Out Via YouTube

Mar 29th, 2010 11:25 PM By Eddie

My name is Eddie and I have always given a damn about equality, but these past few years have really helped to show me that until we are all really equal, we can never stop giving a damn.

YouTube has been a great medium for me to express myself and reach what has become millions of viewers. I have always been honest about my sexuality and have never felt the need to hide anything. My “fan base” has reached people of all different ages and walks of life who live all over the world. I receive messages all the time from children and young adults asking advice on tough situations like coming out or how one can feel more comfortable in their own skin. It breaks my heart to realize how difficult some people still have it in different parts of the country and in different parts of the world. It reminds me of how lucky I am to have the accepting family that I have and to live in such a free place as New York City. While NYC still has its moments of Hate, it is far more accepting than most places in the world.

When responding to the messages on YouTube, I try to give the best (unlicensed!) advice that I can possibly give and I always leave the underlying message to be yourself and to be honest with yourself. I try to remind the younger ones of how tough of a time it can be but never to let anything or anyone hold you back from who you are.

YouTube recognition in New York City then brings faces to the avatars and handles that I am accustomed to seeing on the screen; while this can be very different at first, after only a few seconds of talking, the common bond between them and myself is revealed.

In one instance, a gentleman recognized me and had to express the reason he came out to his parents (after 30 years of being “in the closet”) – he had seen a video I made on National Coming Out Day and that gave him the push. It made me so happy to realize that the work I was doing through YouTube was not only reaching people but also helping people.

Another instance was a young man recognizing me at a lounge and sharing with me his story of using one of my videos to help show his mother who he was. It was a music video I made with my mother revealing how tough it can be for someone to come out. The young man told me that he watched it with his mom and they cried. He said she had a tough time for the next few weeks but has completely come around to him. I was happy hearing that I played a microscopic part in this young man’s life and that his mom has come to accept him.

I give a damn about equality and about all generations having it easier and easier than the previous one…until that one day when equality will reach everyone.

I’ll continue to give a damn about equality. Will you?

I’m Eddie and I give a damn, do you?