I NEVER KNEW!

Dec 29th, 2010 07:28 PM By Larissa

Hi, my names Larissa and I’m 21 years old and I’m straight. I have a lot of gay and bi friends, but I never truly knew some of what they had to go through. Not until I read some of the peoples stories on this site.

Just a few months ago, I lost a gay friend to suicide because his family didn’t want him around because of his sexual orientation. How can some families not love their children for who they are? That’s the biggest question I have.

I hope that all my friends agree with me and help me raise awareness to the problems that are happening to the GLBT community. I hope that one day straights will learn to accept people for who they are not for what they look like or their sexual orientation.

I’m Larissa and I GIVE A DAMN!!!!

Its Just the Moments

Dec 29th, 2010 07:26 PM By Tori

About a year ago, when I was around the age of 13, I got my first girlfriend. Scared people would find out, we kept it to ourselves, not really getting to talk in school or hang out. Well one afternoon, one of the girls I liked on the bus got mad at me and told all the 8th graders I was in love with her. I was sitting towards the front of the bus and had my head phones in so I couldn’t hear what they were yelling till one of the younger kids tapped me on the shoulder.

So I took my headphones off, and right as I did they were yelling faggot and lesbian and go to hell and other things. It made me really upset, so not knowing what to do, I denied it. I denied who I was and it sent me into the darkest point of my life. I stopped talking to my friends and started to cut. I was even writing death notes at one point to myself. I made it through the school year barely. This year my mom told me she knows I’m gay and that she was ok with it. Knowing that I would still have my mom, me and my girlfriend came out at school, not by our choice though.

Since then I’ve worn many t-shirts and other things to show my pride in who I am. On Spirit Day I used purple hair spray to dye my hair, made a make a change t-shirt and even went all out purple and rainbows. Just because the other students have stopped tormenting me to some point, they still torment my friends. Is this right? No, its not. And, when you think teachers are the ones who are going to be there to help, they are not. All they say is to stop and give them warning after warning. In the handbook, it states that bulling is a instant referral and each and every student gets the right to feel safe in there leaning environment. But, why is this not carried out? Because teachers and people would rather have the easy part and stay out of it even if it costs a student’s life.

Even though in my life I’m to the point to where I’m free to be me, I ALMOST DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN!!!

I Didn’t Give a Damn

Dec 29th, 2010 11:38 AM By Ross

I never felt like I fit into the world around me. I didn’t know what it was that was different, I just knew something was. When I saw a movie called, “Something About Alex”, on HBO, I finally had a name for what I was. I was a homosexual, I was gay. What should have been a moment of happy realization, I found myself in a world of complete terror. I sent a note to someone I thought was a friend stating I thought I was gay in the 5th grade after watching the movie. This note then became circulated and very soon, I was a “fag” to the kids in school.

After a year of persecution, being physically and mentally harassed, I felt broken and worthless. I couldn’t turn to my pastor as I knew being a homosexual was a mortal sin and that God would not love me. I couldn’t turn to my parents who shared the point of view that the church did. I had no friends at school or in my neighborhood. I had no voice. I had no role model. I had no confidant. I had no life but one of being an “abomination” to God. In 6th grade, I held a gun my father had in the house in my hand and took the safety off and placed it in my mouth with tears streaming down my face. However, the fear of Hell kept me from pulling the trigger. Oddly enough, this made me feel even worse about myself that I didn’t even have the courage to do the right thing.
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Why I Give a Damn

Dec 29th, 2010 11:28 AM By Teresa

First off, let me tell you that I am straight. I’m a (somewhat) normal straight girl, but I give a damn. I don’t have any real religious beliefs, open to everything and everyone no matter who they are. But my parents are the exact opposite; hateful, close-minded, and very homophobic. They hate how I support gays and gay rights, wondering if I’m gay just because of the fact that I believe in gay rights. When we or they watch shows and they see a character who looks/acts differently, they will automatically say that they are gay. Almost all the time they are right, but it still hurts that my parents would make assumptions without knowing anything.

They don’t want gay marriage, believing that it’s wrong and not natural while I wholeheartedly do. I have a lot of bi-sexual friends who are girls and I don’t mind that at all. I hate that my friends get discriminated against by people and the government just because they aren’t straight like me. I felt so sad when I heard about all the gay teen suicides in September, feeling so bad for all of them and wishing that I could have talked to them, tried to help them and convince them that life is worth living and that people do care about them, like me. I want to be a counselor/therapist when I get older, wanting to help teens who are feeling lost and lonely, like no one cares about them and thinking that nobody would give a damn if they were alive or dead. Well, I do care, and this is why I give a damn.

High School Misery

Dec 29th, 2010 11:17 AM By Mark

I am happy to say I survived my teenage years in the mid 1970’s because someone gave a damn about me. High School was the worst experience of my life. I faced constant fear, ridicule, and jokes. Comments were yelled across the high school gym at pep rally’s. I don’t recall how many times I sat in my room wanting it to just be over. Something always stopped me from following through with it, but what I just don’t recall anymore.

I didn’t even know what gay was at 16, I just knew that I couldn’t talk about how I felt. I knew something was different just had no clue what it was. I dated women, I wasn’t a social loner, I had friends and was very outgoing in the community. I felt as if I couldn’t say anything or everyone would abandon me. I never told my parents what I faced either (including to this day).

The person who saved my life to this day does not know that she did. She gave a damn about me as a person when I was at an extremely low point in my life sometime around the spring/summer of 1976. In a small town of 7000 people in the Midwest (Ohio to be exact), being “different” was not acceptable regardless of what that difference was (remember, small farm-town). Someone moved to town that helped change my life. The new county 4-H extension agent. This person genuinely cared about the things that we were all going through as teenagers. This person helped me learn to “love me” regardless of outside influence. I learned to care about me and respect of others from her. (I still hid my sexuality until I was almost 21).
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Senior Year

Dec 21st, 2010 09:54 AM By Katie

Dyke. Slut. Whore. Penises drawn on my car once a week. First I was just the weird new girl, then when my sexuality came up it became this big ordeal. I had people whispering about me. My mom refusing to let me see my girlfriend. My dad telling me he would have to disown me if I ever came out. My first girlfriend ever flaunting me through school like a circus animal. I never thought it would of turned out to be such a big deal, but it lead me to feel as though I was worth nothing.

I went to the counselor two times a week. On meds, seeing a therapist, and thinking about suicide all the time. I tried to throw myself at guys trying to be straight, but I ended up feeling ten times worse and didn’t feel like myself. I had attempted a few times to kill myself. I didn’t see what I had to live for. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of who I was, I couldn’t accept the fact that I was lesbian. Most of my peers, parents, and siblings seem to think I was a freak, or it was just a faze or that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After all I had been through, I am glad to say it has gotten better and I have come along way.

From Pain to Growth

Dec 21st, 2010 09:49 AM By Daniel

I will never forget that night. It will both haunt and strengthen me for the rest of my life.

I had gone to a neighborhood bar to spend some time with high school friends that were in town for the Christmas break. I had had a few drinks but nothing excessive. On the way home, I decided to stop for a bite to eat. While in the drive-thru line, I noticed a truck behind me with two young adult men in it that was inching closer and closer to my car. I didn’t think much of the men since my plan was to get my food, eat it, and drive home safe and sound. I was wrong.

Since I had been drinking, I decided it was best to pull aside and eat before I made my way home. The truck from the line followed me. I was quite frightened at the sight of the truck and at the approaching man that began walking to my car. I rolled down my driver-side window very slightly to see what he wanted. He implied that he had seen me before and asked if I knew anyone from a certain high school in the surrounding area. I did and the conversation continued quite casually. After about 5 minutes, the man asked if I wanted to sit on the sidewalk and eat with him and his friend before I went home. Since we knew many of the same people and he seemed extremely friendly, I agreed.
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I Almost Didn’t Give a Damn

Dec 14th, 2010 03:13 PM By Hollie

I was bullied and ridiculed everyday in high school for being a lesbian. Even my mother gave me an extremely hard time whenever I came out to her. I had a hard time getting through the end of the day, and so I thought I wouldn’t be able to get through life. I ended up attempting suicide and was in the hospital for a few days. It was one of the worst times in my life.

I realized that nothing was worth giving my life up, and that the bad times wouldn’t last forever. Now, I’m in college learning how to become a teacher so I can help kids that are experiencing hard times in school like I was. I also have and amazing girlfriend and my family has become more accepting of my sexuality.

I give a damn because giving up your life because things get rough isn’t how to overcome the obstacles. There is so much more life to live after high school and college. That is why I give a damn.

When I was 9 I Knew I was Different…

Dec 14th, 2010 02:35 PM By Ashley

When I was 9 years old I knew I was “different”, but it wasn’t until I was in middle school that I had the courage to tell my best friend that I thought I was bi-sexual. She responded in a strange way… she kinda gave me a look and just pretended that she hadn’t heard me. I mean, I didn’t understand she was my best friend right? Because of that reaction I didn’t want to tell other people or act on my feelings.

It wasn’t until my 10th grade psychology class that I figured out that hiding this would only hurt me more because I was living a lie. I had friends that were openly gay and I always admired their courage. But I could never find it in myself to come out to the world. I was terrified, but I figured that I needed to tell my mother. My biggest advocate and support system. We were riding in the car together alone just her and I and I kind of blurted it out “mom, I’m gay”. She didn’t say anything at first then she said, “you can’t be gay, people don’t just blurt out that they are gay!” I was surprised, I mean I don’t know what I expected to happen but I definitely didn’t expect that.
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Stay Alive

Dec 13th, 2010 10:29 AM By Cameron

I am a female to male transsexual. People have asked me when did you decide to become a guy or why did you decide to become a guy and I tell them I was always a guy I just didn’t know for a long time who I was. I went to school in the 60s and 70s in a small Montana town. There were no gay people on TV or in my hometown and certainly no trans folk.

I hated school, I was different, when I was young some people thought I was a boy which made my Mom mad. I stuck out like a sore thumb, I was teased and I was in trouble all the time. I had only one friend through all of school. I was lonely and depressed. I didn’t go to any of my school dances and I often contemplated suicide, I think if I hadn’t had that one friend, I probably would have.

I was in my late 20’s when I had my first relationship with a woman. When I moved to Alaska I found a large GLBT community, I lived as a lesbian for over 20 years and met my first transgendered individual, it wasn’t until almost 6 years ago at the age of 50, I figured out I was transgendered, my partner of over 15 years has stayed with me. If I would have killed myself all those years ago, I would have missed out on the life that I have. It’s not perfect, but I am happy.

School won’t last forever, there is hope. Don’t throw your life away. You and your life are important.