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My Son is Gay

Jun 23rd, 2010 04:59 PM By Patsy

I am the proud step-parent of a 48 year old wonderful man. I married Robert’s father when Robert was 7 years old. I’ve been his proud mother the past 41 years.

We didn’t know too much about gays and lesbians. But, I finally realized that Robert was gay. After taking him to counseling to “fix” him, I started to realize that Robert was born this way and we were the ones that needed fixing. We have embraced Robert with all the love we’ve given our other children.

He, in more ways than I could count, is much better off than the “normal” children we had. Robert is a very successful businessman, with a husband, they’ve been together 28 years and have a son that will be six in July.

I couldn’t be more proud of Robert for the man he has become, the parent and spouse that he is. He and his spouse are hardworking people, who only want to have the same rights that “heteros” have, a recognized union with the benefits that come with it.

They pay taxes, are good citizens, concerned with a number of gay/lesbian and other issues. They are contributing members of society, vote and should have those rights.

Just because they are gay, doesn’t discount their need for a family, children and the stuff that everyone else wants.

Because he is my son, I do Give A Damn.

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AP: “Gay Workers to Get Family Leave”

Jun 22nd, 2010 11:11 AM By

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The following is an excerpt from a story by The Associated Press:

“The Labor Department intends to issue regulations this week ordering businesses to give gay employees equal treatment under a law permitting workers unpaid time off to care for newborns or loved ones.

“Labor Secretary Hilda Solis planned to announce Wednesday that the government would require employers to extend the option that has been available to heterosexual workers for almost two decades, two officials briefed on the plan said Monday. Neither was authorized to speak publicly ahead of the announcement.

“The move, coming less than five months before November’s congressional elections, seemed likely to incite conservatives and Republicans who stood in lockstep against the Obama administration’s earlier efforts to repeal a ban on gays and lesbians serving openly in the military. It also appeared likely to be popular with loyal Democrats and organized labor.

“The Family and Medical Leave Act allows workers to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year to take care of loved ones or themselves. The 1993 law, which also allows employees to take time off for adoptions, has previously only been applied to heterosexual couples.

“The Labor Department planned to extend those rights based on a new interpretation of the law, the officials said. There was no plan to ask Congress to change the law, which means future presidents could reverse the decision.”

Read the full The Associated Press story >>

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  • Learn more about Workplace Discrimination

University of Memphis Changes Pool Policy

Jun 18th, 2010 12:16 PM By

The following is a report by WREG in Memphis, TN:

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Children of Lesbians May Do Better Than Their Peers

Jun 07th, 2010 10:34 AM By

The following is an excerpt from story by Time:

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“The teen years are never the easiest for any family to navigate. But could they be even more challenging for children and parents in households headed by gay parents?

“That is the question researchers explored in the first study ever to track children raised by lesbian parents, from birth to adolescence. Although previous studies have indicated that children with same-sex parents show no significant differences compared with children in heterosexual homes when it comes to social development and adjustment, many of these investigations involved children who were born to women in heterosexual marriages, who later divorced and came out as lesbians

“For their new study, published Monday in the journal Pediatrics, researchers Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at University of California, San Francisco (and a law professor at University of California, Los Angeles), and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at University of Amsterdam, focused on what they call planned lesbian families — households in which the mothers identified themselves as lesbian at the time of artificial insemination.

“Data on such families are sparse, but they are important for establishing whether a child’s environment in a home with same-sex parents would be any more or less nurturing than one with a heterosexual couple.

“The authors found that children raised by lesbian mothers — whether the mother was partnered or single — scored very similarly to children raised by heterosexual parents on measures of development and social behavior. These findings were expected, the authors said; however, they were surprised to discover that children in lesbian homes scored higher than kids in straight families on some psychological measures of self-esteem and confidence, did better academically and were less likely to have behavioral problems, such as rule-breaking and aggression.

“‘We simply expected to find no difference in psychological adjustment between adolescents reared in lesbian families and the normative sample of age-matched controls,’ says Gartrell. ‘I was surprised to find that on some measures we found higher levels of [psychological] competency and lower levels of behavioral problems. It wasn’t something I anticipated.’”

Read the full Time story >>

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Having a Gay Father

May 28th, 2010 08:38 PM By Marta

When I was 9 years old, I found out my parents were getting divorced because my father was gay. Of course, I was hurt at first because my family was breaking up. Anyone would feel this way. But, as I have gotten older, I couldn’t be happier about having a unique family situation and what has come along with having it.

The gay community is amazing. I have so many wonderful people that have come into my life since my father came out and been able to live his life out in the open. PRIDE festival is one of my favorite times of year and I have continued to bring more and more friends to it every year (most of them straight) and they have the time of their lives. I refer to PRIDE as one big family reunion :)

I am surrounded with so many amazing gay and lesbian couples that are friends and neighbors of mine, and it breaks my heart to know that they can’t “officially” get married and commit their love to one another, or that their adopted children have only one of their parents names on their birth certificate and if something happened to them, their other parent isn’t even considered to be a next-of-kin. Everyone deserves the same equal rights, no matter what sexual orientation, race, gender, etc. you are.

I have been defending and supporting the gay community all my life. I do so with pride and passion because not only is my father gay, but so many incredible individuals around me are part of this community.  They deserve everything that straight individuals do.

I went to a private and conservative high school where so many people around me were ignorant and judgmental, and it hurt to hear the way they thought of gay people and how misinformed they were. This is an incredibly important issue in my life and I am behind spreading the word of equal rights 100%.

I love my family and I completely support the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.

I Love My Moms and Dads

May 28th, 2010 08:31 PM By Haley

My story and experience is one that I’ve only known one other person to share, he happens to be my brother.

Throughout my life I’ve had many friends who’s mom or dad was gay. In my case, both of my parents are gay.

My mother currently lives with the woman we lovingly refer to as our stepmother. She and her family are every bit a part of our lives as if she were just another mom. And, my father recently moved in with a new boyfriend a few months ago.

We’ve known mom and dad were gay since I was about four or five. Truth be told, I was never aware that it was “different” or “weird” until I got to high school and my friends would ask rude questions about it and other students would use it against me.

Through my life I’ve stood strong for gay rights because I’ve been surrounded by it for almost 20 years and still have yet to understand why people have a problem with it in the first place.

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My Family

May 28th, 2010 08:18 PM By Jesse

I was raised in a world where friends blur into family. Love is love. The spirit of a person means more than anything else about that person. In this world there isn’t a lot of black and white, but mostly gray. I could be anything I wanted…

I was raised in Montana, a red state, by my mother, my father, my step-momma, and my Mama Kate…my mom’s partner from the time I was 11 until I was 16.

Mama Kate and my mother broke up my Sophomore year of high school. It was horrible. It was like a divorce. Even so, when most “step parents” would walk away, Mama Kate remained. Even after all of the hurts back and forth between my two moms, she stayed with me. After she got with someone else, moved to the Virgin Islands, and had every reason to just walk away, she stayed. Even after her death when I was 20…she remains. She will always be my closest confidant, the person who understood me more than anyone ever has, my Mama Kate and my “mommy person”.

My lesbian mother is my best friend. Mama Kate has left a void no one can ever fill. My mother’s girlfriend after Mama Kate, Shelley, taught me that I should fight in the name of equality. Mama Kate told me that I would one day be not only okay with, but proud of, the fact that my mom is gay. I am. She was right. She was always right.

I have gay friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, and highly anticipate that I may have nieces, nephews, children, or grandchildren that will be gay. My family is a “family of choice”. I love them all regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion, and other (except the Republicans – kidding, I’m kidding). My lesbian mother taught me that lesson. I can’t say the same for everyone else, but I want my children to grow up the way I did; with more love than hate, more acceptance than rejection, more family than they know what to do with, and the courage to feel safe in their own skin, even if others say it’s wrong.

I support the gay community because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the way I was raised. It’s a part of me and my life. And that’s why I give a damn.

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My Sister

May 28th, 2010 08:09 PM By Rachelle

I give a damn because my half sister and her partner have been in a committed relationship for 10 years now. They love each other so much and share a wonderful house together with their dog (since they can’t legally adopt a child).

I remember when my sister came out to me. We were at Universal Studios waiting in a long line to get on the “Earthquake” ride. In that 30 minutes that we spent waiting, I learned everything about her. And because we’re family, I only loved her that much more that she shared that with me.

I found it so appalling that my sister couldn’t get married to her one true love, when I could get married to my boyfriend of 5 months with no problem. Ever since then, I’ve been committed to the fight for equality.

I have been elected as a co-president for my school’s Gay-Straight Alliance. I want to educate others about the GLBT community’s fight for basic human rights.

My school, like any other high school, has that group of people that don’t understand, and probably will never understand. But, if my voice and other voices about these issues get through their thick skulls, maybe just maybe they’ll start to understand.

I hate saying my “sister and her wife…” when it isn’t true. I don’t want to watch them grow old together with no legal validation of their partnership.

A human should get married to another human to symbolize their eternal love and make sure the other one will be safe if anything, god forbid, were to happen to either one of them. I want my sister and her wife to have the same security that all straight married couples have. So I give a damn!

I am a Liar, That is My Truth.

May 21st, 2010 04:28 AM By Judas

I don’t know any one who’s honest. But then a thief thinks everyone steals. I’ve been lying for a very long time. So long now that I forget that telling the truth is sometimes easier. I can remember seeing a commercial, being maybe 8 years old, a men’s clothing company released a new line of underwear. They had men who work out for a living, clad in the new underwear, walking slowly down the street. A sort of underwear parade. What I remember equally clearly is that on that day my body betrayed me. I felt, what I knew, I shouldn’t feel. My dirty secret was born.

For the next 16 years, I was my own worst critic. And I was the best audience to try my truth-bending prowess on. I read the bible diligently, I threw myself in the arms of God. I knew he’d fix me. That was a new lie I sold myself. What I knew is that giving my life to God meant I didn’t have to have a wife. Sadly no matter how much I lied to myself, to others, it was never good enough. Every time someone questioned my sexuality I hated myself more, I promised myself I’d lie better next time, I’d be more convincing. Somehow, I’d have to be. I could do it, if I just wanted it bad enough. But it was never enough. Every crack I patched lead to five more.

Five years after I came out I thought I’d never do that to myself again. I recently gradated from law school, closets, hiding my true self, that was for other people. Weak people. More lies. But I believed them. I took my current job because I had no choice. I chose to stay in the closet to keep this job. I say nothing when my partners yell “fag” at each other. I do nothing when they talk about the “homosexual agenda”. And I hate myself for it. But I had thought it didn’t matter, that even if I was slowly killing myself, the damage was contained in one place, in me. Today I learned that too was a lie.

more…

Married Lesbian Couple Sues Over Child’s Birth Certificate

May 14th, 2010 04:07 PM By

The following is a story by Radio Iowa:

“A married same-sex couple is suing the Iowa Department of Public Health for refusing to list both parents on their child’s birth certificate. Heather and Melissa Gartner were married after the Iowa Supreme Court struck down the state’s ban on same sex unions.

“When their daughter was born, they assumed they would both be listed on the birth certificate. But state officials said they would not list the non-birth mother until she adopts the child. An attorney with Lambda Legal, Camilla Taylor, says the state would not make the same request of a heterosexual couple who uses a sperm donor.

“’Many married different sex couples use anonymous donor insemination to conceive or in some cases, a woman may have an affair and in every case when a married different sex couple requests a birth certificate for their child – that birth certificate is issued automatically naming the husband as a parent,’ Taylor said.

“According to Taylor, requiring the non-birth mother to adopt is expensive, intrusive, and insulting. She’s hoping the matter is resolved before going to court. ‘Iowa is the only state of all of those states who permit same sex couples to marry or to enter into civil unions that has refused to place the name of both spouses in a same sex couple on a child’s birth certificate,’ Taylor said. ‘I expect this is just a mistake and I expect we’ll clear it up shortly but Iowa is certainly standing alone here.’”

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