A Positive Result

Apr 04th, 2010 01:03 PM By Paul

Recently my Episcopal church went through a self-assessment and goal planning. One of the issues was lack of diversity in the membership. While there was much talk about ethnic diversity, it wasn’t until another woman and myself raised the issue of sexual orientation and gender identification that the subjects were discussed. Until two years ago, the church had been on the opposing side of inclusiveness. When the Bishop asked that the attitude be changed, the opposers left, and now the church is (wants to be) as inclusive as possible. That desire is now a listed goal in the 5-year plan.

The problem was that the church, before the schizm, had a bad reputation in our town’s rather large Rainbow community. Worse, after the progressive change, they did nothing to inform the Rainbow community (or the larger community, either). When the woman and I brought this to their attention, they were honestly shocked and ashamed. Since then, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked what can be done to change the perception, get the word out, be more welcoming.

Some things were done quickly: the weekly newspaper notice was changed to contain the word “inclusive” in it. The webmaster of the local gay website has been contacted about placing an ad. There is talk of starting an Integrity group. There is still much to do, but, importantly, not only Vestry members but many members of the congregation are willing to pitch in and help. One 90-year-old WWII vet told me that God’s love is for everybody, and sexual orientation should be a non-issue.

They weren’t aware of the situation. When we (the woman and myself) made them aware, they immediatly (and I do mean *immediately*) took up the issue of how to correct it. Sometimes people just don’t know what’s going on around them. We were lucky: our church cares and is doing something about it. Others may not have it so easy. Awareness was our key; I hope it can be for others, too.

When You Can’t Trust Your Mentors, Who Do You Trust?

Apr 04th, 2010 01:01 PM By Brittainy

I have a very dear friend who lives on the other side of the country. He is transgender and trying to figure life out. Lately he has been so stressed and scared due to the many changes going on in his life right now that he has been having anxiety chest pains at night.

He went to his pastor to ask for some advice on life in general, and instead of helping him out, the pastor told him that his chest pains were caused by God who was trying to call him back to His side.

Many LGBT teens don’t have anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. If even their religious leaders are telling them that they are ‘wrong’ and ‘unnatural’–to the point of giving out bad advice (what if my friend’s condition gets worse and his anxiety begins to affect his health?) then who are they supposed to turn to?

There has to be equality in this world. There has to be love. There has to be trust. I give a damn, and so should the religious community.

Dear Jesus

Apr 04th, 2010 12:57 PM By jes

My faith was always important to me when I was younger. As I got older I started having issues within myself, the issue of being a lesbian. I say it was an issue becuase I had a very difficult time trying to find a balance between my faith and my orientation. It’s a scary thing because in most religions, if not all, being a ‘mo is a hell worthy lifestyle and that’s one place I never want to visit after I die.

By the time I was sixteen I knew my preference was women but I still had this issue clawing at me about religion. One day I had finally came to an understanding with myself. The religion will not get you anywhere, but the faith will guide you no matter what. Jesus does love all people and who I am hurts no one. All the people that protest have issues already and chances are they have done worse things in their lives (wife beating, drinking until blacking out) then I ever have.

The great thing is I am sitting down to write this on Easter Sunday 2010. I also came out to my mom on a Sunday afternoon when we got home from Church. I am still here, God didn’t send a bolt of lighting to attack me, so that must be a good sign. I am a Lesbian, and I do believe in God.

Acceptance

Apr 04th, 2010 12:54 PM By Sarah

When I was a teenager I was grappling with the fact of being gay in a very conservative Catholic School. I hid it very effectively from friends and family members for years. As a Catholic, youth sexuality – let alone homosexuality – was looked down upon. I tried being a good little Catholic girl and dated boys for quite a while. The first person I came out to was the parish priest. I can still remember it to this day how unkindly he treated me. I was asked not to return to the parish as I would corrupt the youth.

I went through various faiths at that time; Methodism, Lutheranism, Episcopalianism, Paganism and last Unitarian Universalism. When I came to the UU church I am at now, I was still on a journey for my faith – though the faith journey for me is one that is now constant. Not quite firm in what I did and did not believe in, I found a place where I could explore. They encouraged me to explore not just my spirituality, but also how I could become a vital part of the church. I found more then just acceptance. They didn’t even bat a lash and actually told me how I could welcome more people from the LGBT community to the congregation if they so chose to join.

This has been a wonderful journey to say the least – from rejection to my own celebration of my sexuality. I am looking forward to movements forward in the future and even more exploration of myself in my faith. This is why I give a damn. So others do not have to go through this same rejection from their faiths.

My Daughters

Mar 28th, 2010 10:11 AM By Nancy

I give a DAMN about equality… ONE of my daughters is gay…

I have raised three daughters. I’ve taught them the fundamentals of life and living in this world, then went beyond this to teach tolerance, equality, independence, faith, compassion and love.

What a joy to watch three beautiful young children grow into the adults they now are! What a joy to nurture each as individuals while treating them equally. What a joy to teach them to be anything they wanted to be. What a joy to watch them learn to love and develop healthy relationships. What a joy to witness them embracing each day.

Each day brings new discoveries for all three. Along the way, my youngest daughter discovered her sexuality as a lesbian. Within our family, this discovery was recognized and acknowledged. We did not judge, and our family still lives with the values of respect and equality that we’ve always lived by.

But for me, the need for social equality outside of our family became more important than ever! I was to send my youngest daughter into the world–and she would learn that the teachings and equality in our home would not necessarily follow her.

I have raised three daughters… and as individual as they are, now they are not treated equally.

TWO of my daughters can…

• Walk safely down any street holding hands with their significant others
• Practice careers without fear of discrimination
• Marry legally (if they choose) in a courtroom – OR – in a religious environment of their choosing
• Have an open relationship with a member of our armed forces
• Practice their religious upbringing openly–not questioning their faith because of a lack of tolerance
• Reap the benefits of “joint” tax returns, health insurance, marriage law…

The list goes on and on.

I hope that someday, this will change to: “All THREE of my daughters can…”