I keep staring at the ‘Select Category’ box, wondering if I’ve chosen the right one. Of course, in this case, it doesn’t affect my life. But, every time I look at my Facebook profile and see how it says that the only people I’m interested in are men, I die a little inside. I don’t have the courage to tell people that I am attracted to women as well. I am, effectively, lying to everybody that I’ve ever cared about.
I could have posted this story under school, suicide, or parenting. But, I think ‘Faith’ covers it.
I’ve admitted my sexuality to myself. I cried myself to sleep one night, wondering why I was bisexual. Although I’ve always supported people of any sexuality, I had no idea it could affect somebody in so many ways, on so many levels. But, still, here I am. I cry but I don’t tell anybody why. I can usually brush it off and lie my way out of it. Nobody knows that I’m crying because I’m terrified. I’m honestly scared to death. I’m scared of rejection. Not just from the women I’ve fallen in love with before but, more importantly, rejection from my family and friends who are my entire world. I have no reason to believe that they would reject me, but it’s the fear of them hating me for who I am that has me lying to everyone around me.
I don’t have the courage to change my sexuality on Facebook.
My fear of rejection is only half of my story, though.
I give a damn because I am a lesbian who has lived this life and I want to share my story so that others will know that it is okay to be who you are. I was born into a Southern Baptist family. Our family went to church every Sunday. I was taught that being anything other than “just like them” was wrong. The “them” I speak of, were ignorant, hypocritical, judgmental, and back-stabbing people.
I knew I was different from a young age. But, I didn’t know how to handle it or what to do. I tried being straight and acting normal. It didn’t really work for me.
When I became older, I joined a gay church. I then realized that I wasn’t alone. There were so many people that were just like me. I somehow knew that I would be okay. It took me years to come to terms with not believing what my family believed. I struggled for a long time. But, now I know that God loves me. He made me just the way that I am.
He loves us all, just the way we are. You can’t help how you feel or who you love. We are all different, but the same in so many ways. So, whoever reads this, please know that you are loved and you do not have to be molded into what someone else wants you to be.
Hi, I’m Sara and I am straight. I never knew that gay, bi, lesbian, and transgender people got so much CRAP, but now I do. I realize now that I can make a change, that I can step up even more now. I know not everyone will agree with me, but gosh darn it.
GOD put you and me and everyone else on this planet for a reason. He made no mistakes with anyone. Everyone has a flaw or two but being gay is NOT one of them. Some people may disagree like my dad, he is a loser when it comes to this. But, I still love him.
I will continue my lecture later I have to go now… Peace, Sara
Well, it was really hard for me growing up in school because I wasn’t just bisexual, I was considered not normal cause of how I dressed and how I avoided people. What hasn’t really helped was the fact that I grew up in church and was taught that anyone who is gay or of that sort were sinners. This deeply troubled me cause I am bi and at that time I didn’t really understand why I liked other guys, so therefore I kept it to myself.
Since I knew that if my family found out it would be really hard on me. I have however came out to most of them by now, I kind of had to seeing as my mom found me on a gay website listed as a bisexual guy. So, at the age of 18 I was outed and since she knew I saw no reason not to tell all my friends. She kind of let it slip to the rest of my family so I was out now.
I am not ashamed of it now, I must admit I was at one point in time, but things have changed. I’m proud to give a damn… even if i have no other meaning in life I’m proud to care about this! I’m glad that I’m not alone in the world and that there are good people out there just like me. I must say that my family being religious played a big role in why I was afraid to come out about this… I was afraid they would condemn me.
After all, no one in my close family is gay or bi and they all despise it I think. This has really been an eye opener for them, the fact that I’m bi and proud to say it, but even despite that they still say they love me! So if you’re out there and are afraid of coming out or afraid of who you are, don’t be! You have just as much right to be proud of yourself as anyone has! Just know you aren’t alone and don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself or for what you believe in! I’m here and I will be here rooting you on!
I have been raised in a small conservative town as a Roman Catholic that teaches social justice until it comes to GLBT issues. I have “rebelled” against the Catholic church since I was about 10 years old and did not understand gay issues at that time, except what the Pope said it was wrong. I am a bisexual who came out in his 20’s and I am still learning that God still loves this switch hitter in my late 40’s.
Since I got involved in a local Metropolitan Community Church, I have learned at a PrideFest that there is a Catholic denomination separate from the Roman Catholic church. The tears I had that day were from happiness, instead of pain. Anybody who has been told that God hates them because they in the GLBT community or is an ally has been told a lie. The Bible is interpreted by man and God told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. He/she did NOT put any exceptions in that.
Life is a journey and you meet lots of different folks along that journey. I have been fortunate to have some loving friends along the way who encouraged me to follow my dreams. Those dreams included a life in ministry. Talk about scary territory. Some of the church folk can eat you alive and praise God while they are doing it.
Well, I persevered like the good book says and am loving my new life as pastor of a growing open door church called the Gathering. We meet in Bakersfield, CA in a hall that is used for Poker games on Friday nights. You enter on Sunday passing a sign that reads “Beware of Cussing and Loose Women”. You got to love that.
I am not saying there were not tears along the way. Plenty of folks have closed their hearts to God’s love and acceptance of others. But love wins the day. Christ gave a damn. It took it to the cross after all. He surrounds me every day with plenty of loving folks who encourage me to just be me.
Well, I recently came out to my family and needless to say they are not very supportive. I come from a very religious family and after what they have done to me I want to make sure that no one else goes through what I just went through. I don’t like to use the word preach, but I do think that there are people out there that can still be reached. People need to be educated, we need to get rid of the discriminatory attitudes.
I’m a girl raised in a Christian family with a preacher for a Father. I was taught that gays and lesbians were an Abomination and it was a sin even to associate with them. It was like being homosexual was some vile disease and if I befriended a gay person I’d catch it. I spent almost all my whole school life afraid to be friendly to gay people. In the end, I could of had a lot more friends today if I had been a lot less prejudice then.
In 2005, I got my first job at a fast-food joint. Not long after I started a gay gentleman started working there as well. As soon as my family found out they told me I should quit. That gentleman was kind, funny and very himself. How could I quit my job because his sexuality isn’t what my family says it right. Plus, I couldn’t just quit my job every time the boss hired a gay individual, that is not right!
I did not quit and I did learn that gay people are human beings too and deserve to be treated fairly. All grown up, I now know that homosexuality is not a vile disease, it’s a way of life based on what they feel! It shouldn’t be taught to people like it’s a crime or something bad. I also learned that just because you befriend someone who is bi or homosexual does not mean that will be your sexuality too!
I am now 22 years old and I am a heterosexual (I don’t like the term straight) and married to a wonderful man. In my state of West Virginia it is unlawful to marry someone of the same sex. One day, I hope that will change for all the United States of America and all around the world!!! I also hope that people will embrace diversity. If people were exactly the same as the person beside them this would be one boring life and wouldn’t be worth living!
Contemplating Suicide? It’s not the answer
I am a 40 y/o gay male who has survived a difficult childhood. I have horrible childhood memories of being shunned at school because I was different. While I always knew I was different I didn’t understand why for many unhappy years.
During my school years there were many puzzling and hurtful experiences. Once while visiting my grandparents I was happily playing with one of my cousin’s baby dolls. My mother told me I should not be playing with dolls because I was a little boy. She then told me to go in the bathroom, pull down my pants and look for myself. I didn’t understand her obvious displeasure at my innocuous playacting. I was treating the doll gently and lovingly as if it were a real baby. How could this be conceived as being wrong? Were boys not supposed to love? I was so confused and depressed at this time in my life and knew something had to change. Each night I would pray to God and ask him to please help me fit in like all the other kids in the world. Why was I the only kid not fitting in?
Finally in a 6th grade sex education class at school I understood why I was so different from the other children, but this generated fears that you could never imagine. I decided I had to live the rest of my life by living a lie. How could I ever expect anyone to understand my thoughts and concerns if even I couldn’t fully understand them? I went on to Jr. High and made a few friends with a couple of girls. These girls were true friends and would have fought tooth or nail to protect me. No, they didn’t know I was gay and I was not going to risk our friendship by telling them. I was constantly being asked if I were a “FAG” by my other classmates and I would lie. Names such as “FAG”, Fudge packer, sissy boy, mama’s boy, girlie, boy lover, etc. cut through my heart and were difficult to understand, as I had not done anything wrong. I had never been with a boy or man.
[I wrote the following a couple weeks ago for another website and since they allow sharing, I decided to share it here. BTW, none of the 'topics' listed seems to fit this, as it's the story of why I feel compelled to fight homophobia in all of it's forms. I chose 'faith' because I am a Christian and that does come through in my story.]
As I sit here typing this, I’m re-watching the movie “Milk” and getting angry all over again about the stupidity of people like Anita Bryant. I remember watching her speeches 30+ years ago and wondering what the hell was wrong with her. I just couldn’t understand why Ms Bryant and so many like her thought homosexuals were such a threat. And even then using their religious beliefs to push their agenda on us all. I had known one homosexual man, a substitute teacher in high school. He never tried to ‘recruit’ any of the boys in class. He simply taught the subject of whichever class he was substituting in. (Though we all suspected, he was still closeted in 1969 when I first knew him. It was confirmed a few years later when his sister lived in the same apartment building as my husband and I.)
In all actuality, I pretty much ignored what was happening, though I simmered silently and I made a point of letting those around me know that I wouldn’t put up with anti-gay talk in my presence. I wouldn’t put up with any kind of judgment against anyone. One of the very first things I learned in church as a child was that we were not to judge our fellow human beings, but only to love them as God loves us all. Those who claim to be Christian are dishonoring Christ when they make judgments about the lives of others.
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Many faiths espouse values such as commitment to social justice, love and acceptance. But unfortunately, some also use their doctrines and guidebooks to attack, condemn and discriminate against gay and transgender people.