Nomads in My Own Country

Mar 30th, 2010 09:34 PM By Christopher

I give a damn about lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender equality because I’ve been with my partner for over 8 years and still can’t sponsor him for immigration into the U.S.

We met cute like many college students. I was in art school studying film, he was in school studying music; we met at a rock show. (I still of course have the t-shirt I bought from the band that night.) Our first date was at a Brit Pop night at another club. It was clear rather quickly that this relationship was going to last. He moved in a year later after I returned from a summer internship in Chicago.

But something was very wrong.

His student visa was to expire, and he wasn’t able to continue with school. Now, had we been a straight couple, we would have easily married. We had already had a significant relationship over a length of time: there would have been no problems.

We made a decision to continue building our life together, hoping that the law would change. We co-signed leases; I made him my beneficiary on retirement and health directives. And time marched on. We decided to move to DC so that I could find work that would support us both. It was rough for both of us. He was particularly at a loss for a community to fit into in DC. It was incredibly hard on our relationship.

And still the law didn’t change.

In order to find a place where we both had opportunity, we finally moved to New York. Things have been better, but the older we get, the more we continue not to have stability. Well, I thank goodness he’s here, but I’m now in my mid-30s. Our peers are buying houses and settling down and starting families. My partner would like to open a restaurant.

We can’t have any of that damn stability! That damn American dream–because we’ve been forced into being nomads in my own country.

It’s particularly upsetting as I’m very much an American. I can trace my history not only to my immigrant great-grandparents, but also to at least one American president and none other than the man who first codified the American language: Noah Webster. I grew up in the Great Middle West, my grandparents were farmers, I attended public schools, I’ve always voted. All these things that are supposedly harbingers of our American identity, and I can’t do the one thing that I want the most and that my ancestors were able to do: marry the one I love and welcome him as a citizen of the U.S. And frankly, that’s a damn outrage.

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people are very much Americans. We’ve toiled along with the rest of you. We share your stories. We need the same rights as other Americans–including the right to sponsor our foreign-born partners to join us as Americans.

Two Broads Abroad

Mar 30th, 2010 09:30 AM By Judy and Karin

Hi from “Two Broads Abroad” – Judy and Karin – both in our 60’s and tired of traveling because of, and being separated because of, who we are and who we love.

Judy says: I SURE GIVE A DAMN about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equality! I’ve been working on it since 1973 when I finally figured out who I was and came out at age 26! As a lesbian I am DAMN tired of the discrimination we face and the unfulfilled promises of government and human rights groups, even though many changes have come about in the past 40 years. Because of the current laws in America I cannot sponsor my life partner for immigration and that means we cannot live together in our home in America as we want. She cannot visit the U.S. more than six months a year – and there is no guarantee when she comes to America that she will be allowed in! That’s DAMN unfair and stressful!

We need comprehensive immigration reform so that all families facing immigration issues are treated fairly – but especially DAMN important to us is that same sex binational couples like ours can get treated fairly. If I was a man and my partner was a woman (or vice versa) we could follow the rules and get a green card in the proper process. But DAMN! We can’t get one – I tried with my Congressman and of course I was denied.

We need UAFA – Uniting American Families Act – to pass. Or we need my Congressman’s bill RFA – Reuniting Families Act (which includes UAFA) – to pass. Then Karin and I can live in our home and travel when we want and where we want and for how long we want. DAMN! What a concept!

Because of current American law, I had to retire early from my job so I could leave the country and be with my partner. That means I had to leave other family and all my friends and even my cat behind. That’s DAMN unfair and DAMN expensive and DAMN inconvenient. GIVE A DAMN and help people like us, won’t you please? Thanks a lot!

Karin says: Excuse me, but I am nearly 70, and British . . . I don’t use language like that! But do I care? Like hell I do! (ooooops). I am so tired of having no permanent home, I want so much to be able to live with my beloved Judy. I would like to stay in one place long enough to grow vegetables and flowers. If you give a damn, too, please help us.