In July of 2011 my lifemate and I will celebrate 36 years of our lives together. We have outlasted the marriages of longtime friends, associates and siblings.
My older brother, for example, is currently in his 4th marriage and yet, for him, there is no validity in the relationship I have with my partner.
Many who have known us for decades call us “The Grand Old Men”, a term of endearment which we are proud of. New acquaintances are completely surprised, sometimes shocked, to learn of our longevity. It’s hard to believe that two men have been and can be so devoted to each other for so long and be living together so “normally”. Like “real” people do.
My partner was married when I met him but had already separated from his wife and was living alone. He was divorced shortly afterward. His two daughters were young enough that they don’t remember a time before me and today they call me their “second dad”. The children of one of his daughters call us both “grandpa”.
We have registered and are recognized in our state as “Domestic Partners”. The framed document, signed by the secretary of state, hangs on our bedroom wall.
I know the title of this post is a totally cliche and over used song title, but it honestly describes my stance on equality. I’m a senior in high school and I am straight. I also completely support gay marriage and rights.
Two of my best friends are gay and bisexual, and both recently came out to me. This is probably the best thing to happen to our friendship because we are closer than ever. By coming out to me, they also fueled my desire to change the state of our society, in regard to how the majority views equality.
It isn’t fair that when I reach the point in my life where I’ve found the love of my life, that I’ll have the right to get married, yet when my gay friends reach that point, their rights won’t be recognized. When I was a sophomore, one of my teachers put it this way: She said that on the day she married her husband, she had a feeling of absolute love and completion that she had never felt before. She told me that she doesn’t think that anyone should be deprived of that feeling.
Some people talk about how gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage, but isn’t it the messed up heterosexual marriages that lead to divorce that destroy the sanctity of marriage? If two guys get married (which I whole-heartedly believe is just as much of a marriage as a marriage between a man and a woman) how does that effect or diminish my own marriage?
Now I’m not in a rush to get married, because come on, I’m a senior in high school, but I AM in a rush to make a difference and change the world. Equality is where our future lies, so let’s figure out how to get there. My name is Kirstin and I hope that this helps someone who is feeling lost or alone. If that’s you, know that I give a damn about you.
Just thought I’d let you know that my partner and I have been together now for 18 years. It has been really hard sometimes… jobs… people… interference… you name it.. we have seen it all. Let me tell you the tough stuff means nothing when your with the one you want!! Our home is nice, we look after each other, we laugh, we cry, we do it all.
You guys and girls who yearn for this, you can have it but it is not for free, you have to work at it and dig deep lots of times. But believe me it is worth it.
Brian, David and Mocha too our 18 year old baby cat!!
Liberty: “the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views” ~The New Oxford American Dictionary
Justice: ”the quality of being fair and reasonable” ~The New Oxford American Dictionary
Everyday children in schools across the United States are ‘required’ to recite:
I Pledge of Allegiance, To the Flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one Nation, under god, Indivisible, With Liberty and Justice for ALL.
For many the addition of “Under god,” added in 1954 is an issue, and refuse to say it; but that’s another issue for another time. For now I would like to focus on the last part, “With Liberty and Justice for all.”
I wonder if I were to do a poll for the general public of the United States, what percent of people would say that they think everyone has equal Liberties and Justices. Do you think everyone has the freedom to live his or her life equally to everyone else? Do you think Gay people not being able to be in the army to fight for their constitutional rights, the rights that kids across America are expected to pledge everyday, is fair? Do you think that a law saying that if someone is gay they can’t fight for freedom should be legal? I hate to say it, but I think there are some countries where people have more freedoms than we do here in the United States, where when a couple gets married they have more rights than when they are just ‘partners’. And many states have changed their constitutions to define ‘Marriage’ as being “between one man and one woman,” Is that fair that a Heterosexual couple, who could not truly be in-love can have legal rights that Homosexual couple, who could have been together for 10, 20, 50 years, couldn’t have.
These were my thoughts which I wrote in my journal the day after my family celebrated the engagement of my nephew Corey. He and Bryan were married just this past July, legally, in Cape Cod with us all there to share in their love and celebration.
There’s an old hippie still, deep down inside of me..and today, she is rejoicing… As I reflect on the family celebration we had yesterday, a joining of hearts and spirits to celebrate the love between two people, so real, pure and natural… my heart sings with joy at the progress I have been blessed to witness in my lifetime…
So often frustrated at the impossible murky bog which those of us with open hearts and open minds are forced to battle every day to make what seem like painfully slow baby steps in any fight of civil rights, it was invigorating to step back and witness first hand what 30 years (the relatively short time I have spent in the fight) of battle has won…and yes, we are winning! Perhaps now, a sense more of a bounty finally harvested after years of toiling and coaxing the fields to yield.
We are all people and I feel we all have the right under the same laws and constitution. We like anyone else find love in our life and wish to be married to join two souls as one. We too should have the right to pursue happiness as it states for all Americans. Is it so wrong to love another person? I don’t believe so… I hope to one day walk down the aisle and marry my perfect someone. Don’t be so surprised, do we not all have the same dreams? Are we not all Americans seeking the same things out of our lives? I stand, I will never back down or hide, I will one day marry the person I love what ever it takes.. I am an American who deserves to be happy just as you are.
The only thing I can ever say about homophobia, or hate crimes, is that things will get better.
My story is I fell in love with a sweet man called Matthew and 16 years later we are still together. In 2003 we had a commitment ceremony; we invited friends and family and treated it like a wedding. But something was missing, as I knew the certificate we got meant nothing in the eyes of the law.
So in 2005, I heard that the UK were having civil partnership, they were not marriages in the religious sense, but would give gays and lesbians the same legal rights as straight couples. It turned out that we would be the first to get the civil partnership in our city. The local paper wanted to do a story on us. I was slightly concerned that people would now officially know I am gay, and was worried about any negative reactions. We were also featured in the local magazine that gets delivered to every house in the city. I didn’t know what would happen, and was preparing myself for the backlash.
However, I was pleasantly surprised. We had people coming up to us in the street saying good luck. No issues, no protests.
It’s not perfect; we don’t feel comfortable enough to walk hand in hand down the street. But the citizens of the city had every opportunity to protest or object, but no one did.
So I do give a damn that people should feel the love and acceptance that we felt on December 21st 2005
I’m from New Zealand and have been married for 3 years to my beautiful wife. Over here in NZ we can legally cement our union (by a civil union, just the same as marriage, but called something different. Not quite equal, but it’s a start). We are both so blessed to come from families who accept us and support our lifestyle… our relationship has never been treated any differently than anyone else’s in our group of family and friends. Every day, we are so thankful to be surrounded by such an amazing group of people, but always aware that many of us in the LGBT community aren’t so lucky. Like many of you, we have been in some uncomfortable situations… checking into hotels, for example, and of course the awkward moments where I have to clarify that I actually have a wife, not a husband. Luckily, we haven’t had to suffer much in the way of homophobia, but if we hold hands or kiss in public we get some odd looks. This is the worst we’ve had to endure as a couple. We can’t wait for the day when all of us can be treated as equals and all of us can be given the same basic human rights
Hi, my name is Ivan, 26, Brazilian. I met my husband Alan, 44, British on a dating website 2 years and half ago. We are from different countries, languages, cultures, ages, styles; But we have one thing in common: The Love.
He went to Brazil to meet me, we fell in love and we decide someone has to move. And, I came to London, was so difficult, I didn’t speak English well, every thing was so different from my city, my Brazil. Alan and I decided to get married because we wanted be together officially and because married I could stay here in peace. We got married 24 October 2009.
Was beautiful moment in our lives, all his family was there. Very emotional. And after we applied for my visa, that after 5 months waiting was refused, and I had to leave England, and leave my love. We were devastated, but decided to fight, I went to Brazil, applied there, after long time waiting, my visa came and I could come back to my love. Now everything’s ok. The different countries, languages, ages, etc, can’t separate when we have Love.
Last 24 Oct 2010 we went to Rome to our first anniversary. And from here London I GIVE A DAMN!
This past August I had the privilege of joining my daughter, Stephanie, & her friends on a 98 mile trek across Northern AZ. This was the third year for the Right to Marry AZ to go out and talk to the public. This group from the GLBT Community and their straight allies have so impressed me with their passion. Their small group made a huge impact on so many people-sharing stories, putting a face to those stories, and planting the seeds to start conversations about equality for everyone. Please check out these links: Righttomarryaz.org,
To all the children that have parents who can’t come to terms with having a GLBT child… I ask you to forgive them. Pray, to whoever your higher power is, that someday-someone-somewhere will say something that will finally make a connection. That they will realize that they loved you before you came out and loving you now is just as easy.
I really feel a lot of parents are the product of their generation and can’t get by the “brainwashing” of the terrible evils of being part of the GLBT Community. Sadly, if they can’t get past the past… just know there is a community of parents out there that will love you and accept you. We will also treat you as our own and expect you to be strong-compassionate-and to lead by example. If you touch the hearts of others one by one… we will prevail… there will be equality for everyone.
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More than 8 million people in this country are denied the freedom to marry...just because they are gay. Many have been in committed, loving relationships with the same person for 10, 20, even 50 years.