My name is Casey, I’m a straight woman that grew up with gay and lesbian friends and family. My main reason for this story is because I don’t understand the marriage laws for gays. Two women that I have known as long as I can remember, (one of them gave me my first stuffed animal before I left the hospital the day I was born (: ) they have been together for 18 years! They decided to get married FINALLY, well I use the term married loosely, because of the laws most of America has in place.
We live in NY which sadly is one (as far as I have seen at least) of the least gay-friendly areas, these women had to go to a different state to have their ceremony. They couldn’t be with their friends family and loved ones on the most important day of their relationship, aside from the day they met. I tell you that to say this, it hurts me to see 2 people I love like family to have to go to such great lengths to do something that 2 straight 18 year olds can do after knowing each other for days, or even moments!! When these women have already been together for 18 years!! Yet 98% (my own opinion not an actual statistic, though probably not far off) of straight marriages end in divorce. Without even touching on all of the legal reasons people get married, why is it so wrong for 2 people that are so deeply in love, whether it be for moments or years, to get married simply because they have the same parts.
I don’t know that I truly had much of a point to this story other than to advise of my disgust in this world and why equal can’t just truly mean EQUAL! It just makes no sense to me.
I GIVE A DAMN!!
I’m Susanne, 40 years old, married with 3 teenage children. My husband David and I have been together for 21 years, married 18. Why do we give a damn about equality? Real simple – we’re an interracial couple, born in 1970 and while we cannot imagine a world were we would not allowed to be together as a family, get married, have our love protected by laws, it is a fact that in a time, not too long before we were born, our marriage would have been illegal, our being together, having and raising children together an outrageous situation to lots of people.
We love each other so much and it just breaks our hearts to think, that there are still people out there treated this way. We raise our kids to be compassionate and passionate about the things they believe in. We teach them to stand up for those, that are in need of help or just a voice and most of all to be open-minded and judge people by their character, not by their looks, their wealth, their sexual orientation.
People like my husband and I have benefited greatly from those who came before us, who fought not just for their rights, but for us future generations. These brave human beings put their life on the line.
It would be a shame, if we took all this for guaranteed and did not stand right besides the GLBT-Community in their struggle. I want everyone to have what my husband and I have, I don’t think that’s asking for too much. Also I’d like to mention, that we’re a military-family and since we’re very vocal about our opinions in regards to equality, we don’t always get to *sit at the cool kids’ table* but ..so what!!
We certainly give a damn and we won’t shut up about it!
I guess in this world I would be categorized as a straight female. Here’s what I can tell you – I’m female. Period. I have rights. Period. I actually hate labels. Including the straight, lesbian, bi, etc labels. I’m me. A person. You’re you. A person. I have rights and you have rights. The same. Period. And I am upset when anyone tells you that you don’t have the right to do something you want to do. We all should be.
Your choices may not be mine, but I will defend you making them with every ounce of me. I may not agree with what you’re saying, but I believe in your right to say it and will defend your right to do so. Your fight for equality is mine. Because it’s right. It’s really that simple.
It’s no one’s business who I sleep with, choose to make a home with, have children with… I am no more or less evolved, intelligent, moral, worthy or loving because I am straight. It’s just what I was born to be, just like I have green eyes and tend to be overweight. I am just one of the colours of the rainbow. I am one of the people who believe that all colours are beautiful.
In Canada, I watched in horror as Prop 8 played itself out. Stop people from getting married – why? Two people who love each other and want to make a life together are not allowed to? Says who? Why would anyone have the right to make that choice for someone else? Fortunately, it looks like clearer heads will prevail and the ban could be lifted.
Because I came into this world “straight”, why do people who have to obey the same laws, rules, pay the same taxes, etc., etc., but are homosexual, NOT have the same rights to marriage as I?
I have many Gay and Lesbian friends. I’ve never seen any difference in their relationships as I’ve had in mine.
Enough. Rights are rights.
When I was 17, I kissed my first girl, she was an awesome friend I will never forget her, but we lost touch. Anyway, it was so hard to really accept who I was. I struggled with it until 2 and half years ago. I had girlfriends and one husband. I had kids and tried to be the whole soccer mom thing, and fit into a role I was really not into. It was not me!
So, in a turn of events! I found the love I had searched for and now almost 2 and half years later I am finally happy! A big thing happened in the state we used to live in, Nevada! They passed a domestic partnership law! So now we are domestic partners, but I wish we could have the full rights like everyone else. I do know that she is my wife in my heart and soul and yes its just a piece of paper, but it means so much more to us.
We are supposed to be free, and to be free means to love anyone you choose and to marry anyone you choose! Why can’t we marry? Just because some people don’t agree! What if straight people couldn’t marry? Then what? I’m not only a fighter for gay rights, but for deaf rights too! My wife is deaf, so its a double whammy for her. So, lets all give a damn! Loves and Blessings!
When I was in my Freshman year of high school, I met this girl who just left me breathless. Her smile made me weak in the knees. Her eyes burned into my soul and I knew she could see everything about me. I had been with a girl before I moved to Wisconsin, but this girl was a whole new ball field for me. She was an angel to me. It was love at first sight for me. I knew she was the one. Now, I had to tell her. I made subtle passes at her, and even hit second base with her once..ha ha ha.
I never knew if she ever felt anything for me until 2007. I will never forget that night. We were on the phone and all of a sudden she says to me “I love you with every part of me. I have loved you since we were in high school. I was just too afraid to admit it.” I was speechless, I had no idea what to say. I had been waiting so long to hear those words come from her mouth. I love her deeply and have since then proposed to her. We are in the process of planning our wedding, but there is one thing that is standing in our way. She wants our union to be able to be legally recognized, and me, well I could care less as long as she, I, and GOD knows that’s all that matters to me, but she wants us to be able to live with the same rights and abilities as those heterosexual couples.
She has really gotten me to think about it, and well I would love for us to have the same rights as everyone else. I would like to be able to be sure that she can be on my health insurance policy, we can travel together and fill out one form instead of two because we aren’t legally recognized. I want to be able to call her my wife! I give a damn about our marriage as well as every other GLBT marriage out there!
This is a two part story, first my “normal” marriage, then my daughter’s marriage to her wife.
As a youngster, I always dreamed of being married and raising a family, but I wanted to do it right. I did not want to go down the same path as my mother, a hard working single mother destined to poverty. I was married at 18, to an Eagle Scout/Scout leader, longstanding member of his church, and the son of a doctor in a small town in Nebraska.
Our marriage was picture perfect, and I knew that my dream was coming true. How far from wrong could I have been. The first 10 years were without intimacy (I knew the day I conceived both children) and I thought it was me. But at the 10 year mark, my husband was convicted of molesting our daughter.
Before sentencing (he plead guilty) we attended counseling together, and I was able to find out more than I ever knew about him. He was incarcerated as a teen for molesting children, and spent most of his teen years in a mental institution. No one said anything to me before our marriage, while I was pregnant, or after the birth of our children. His parents remained silent, and did nothing to insure the safety of my children, or me for that matter.
I’m straight. And the story I’m going to tell you is about what happened when one half of a straight couple died unexpectedly. And how this experience made me understand the importance of marriage as a civil contract.
My brother met the love of his life when he was nineteen (I was nine.) This woman was deeply loved by him and is deeply loved by all of his family (three sisters and two parents.) Ten days before his fortieth birthday, Patrick died of mental illness. It was traumatic for all of us. We’re not that close of a family, at least not in the constant contact way that most people think of as close. But when this unexpected death happened, much to all of our surprise, we were in immediate and unwavering agreement that we wanted to make sure his female partner was protected.
Because they had never married, any one of Patrick’s siblings or parents could have staked a claim – and probably won it- on his property and money. All of us, even in the midst of the stress and upset over his death, were in agreement that it should all go to her. But to make that happen, she first had to go through legal proceedings to have herself recognized as his common-law wife. The next step, to ensure that no one, none of us, none of our children, none of our children’s children, could ever change his or her mind and stake claim to Patrick’s legacy and try and take it from his love, was to have her go to court and sue each and every person who could make a claim – ie us, his immediate family – to make sure her rights were established legally once and for all.
I am 21 years old and I am not certain of my sexuality. Throughout my teenager years I have always exclusively been with boys. I might have thought of experimenting with girls, but could never, ever have pictured myself to be in a relationship with one. However, I have always been ABSOLUTELY supportive of homosexual, bisexual, transgender, whatever-you-like people. I strongly believe that you have to be what you have to be and who you go to bed with at night has ZERO importance in regards to who you are as a person. And this applies to race and religion as well. It is who you are as a person, not where you come from or which church you attend.
When I moved to England to study I met my next door neighbor – the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life. We instantly clicked and became friends, but knowing that she is a lesbian, I told her “it’s not going to happen”. Well it took me less than 2 months until I stopped denying to myself my attraction to her and kissed her. I must say I am the happiest person right now. I am in love with this girl and while in the beginning of our relationship I thought “Wow, I’m kissing a girl..”, now all I’m thinking is “Wow, I am kissing the most amazing person in the world”.
I am a straight, female, senior in high school. I do not know what it feels like to be constantly discriminated against. I do not know what it feels like to not have the freedom the marry the person I love. I have no idea what it feels like to not be able to be open about who I am with my friends, family, classmates, and coworkers. However, I give a damn.
My two best friends are gay and bisexual. I love them unconditionally. Their sexual orientation does not define our friendship. I do not love them less or see them any differently. Since they both told me, we are all closer than ever. I hope that someday the two of them could stand up proudly in school and declare who they are. In this country, we need open, accepting minds. Without this, we will be a country divided. A country that does not, and will not, accept all of it’s citizens.
I give a damn, and I hope that by watching the Damn videos, reading the Damn blog, and getting involved, the entire nation will come to understand. Equality is not just something that people want. It is a necessity for the entire nation. My name is Heidi, and I give a damn.
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More than 8 million people in this country are denied the freedom to marry...just because they are gay. Many have been in committed, loving relationships with the same person for 10, 20, even 50 years.