It’s Just a Phase
My story starts about 10 years ago; I was only 13 when I met the most wonderful person in the world, my girlfriend, Meri. It was truly love at first sight for me and I hadn’t felt that way about anyone at that point. We were best friends before anything else and we shared everything. One day I told her how I felt and she agreed, that’s when our relationship began. Right away I had a bad feeling about how my parents might react if they did find out I was falling in love with another girl.
Secrets only last so long as my mom found out two years later by “accident,” but I know she had her suspicions. She was outraged and assured me that I wasn’t gay and what I was going through was “just a phase.” She wouldn’t let me see my girlfriend or talk to her on the phone. She told my other friends’ moms to make sure if I was there visiting that Meri was not. I felt hurt, I felt rejected and I started feeling more depressed everyday. Pretty soon I was at the doctor getting Prozac prescriptions. I started feeling suicidal on a daily basis. Families are supposed to love each other unconditionally and that was not true in my case.
One day I was very upset and angry about what my parents were dong to me and I was preparing to end it all, however I was stopped by a family member and the police were called. I was put in the youth mental health ward at a local hospital. I didn’t belong there. I did nothing to deserve the way my parents reacted and in turn I was affected by it on many levels. I got out of there and the struggle has continued ever since. My mom always says she accepts it and doesn’t care, but she still disrespects Meri whenever she sees her. My dad’s side of the family refers to me being a lesbian as the girl thing, on one occasion I heard him tell someone I was “over that” when I’m clearly still with my girl. I do get depressed, but I’ve found other ways to deal with my sadness. Some people just never change. I’m certain, although my family may never accept it, Meri is my soul mate! I’m 23 years old now, alive and healthy!
I want to put an end to parents reacting badly to their child coming out because it can put their child’s life in jeopardy. Either way the parent ends up with guilt and anger because a relationship is ruined over sexual preference. Sounds pretty senseless! So parents, get educated! If you suspect your child of being gay please don’t reject them, their your blood, and that’s the way they are! Sit down and talk with them. If my mom had done that I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself and our relationship wouldn’t be ruined.
